So last night after I published this post about search terms I got an email from my midget friend (a.k.a. My Second or Possibly Third Husband) and he was all, “What, no midget searches? There were a ton of midget searches on your last post about keywords” and I was all, “Gee, I guess nobody’s [...]
Continue reading about I Can’t Think of a Good Title for This Post so Let’s Just Call it “MIDGETS”
So last night I was doing my weekly holy-shit-it’s-Sunday-night-and-none-of-us-have-clean-underwear laundry when an enormous cockroach scurried across the floor and when I say “scurried across the floor” I mean “tried to attack me and eat my face off” and when I say “enormous” that really doesn’t do it justice but I’ve spent the last twenty minutes [...]
So after much deliberation and one absolutely SPECTACULAR summer break, I’ve decided NOT to kill the blog for good but instead to come back with a fiery vengeance. (And by “fiery vengeance,” I mean “maybe I’ll write a post every now and then, if I happen to remember and don’t have anything better to do.” [...]
The Bean is officially on Summer Break. But don’t give up on me just yet. Keep checking back all summer and follow my little bean on one seriously nutty vacation… or find other weird, silly, ridiculous bullshit that I just can’t stop myself from posting because I’m, well… ME. No regular posts are planned, but [...]
So tonight I went to an open house for a local spa/salon which sounds really fancy but in reality was just kind of awkward. At least it WAS until the BFF and I found the wine. Then it was just awkward for the other people around us. Ask Lotus. She was there. I’m sure she’d [...]
So tomorrow is Mother’s Day and Mother’s Day is the kind of holiday I’d normally think is total bullshit and want to stab people for celebrating, but because I actually AM a mom now and thus stand to benefit from its bullshittiness, MOTHERS DAY IS AWESOME. And not bullshit at all. Because I want lots [...]
Continue reading about Mother’s Day is Bullshit Until You’re a Mother and Then It’s AWESOME
So last week the Big Bean and I made a list of things that we want to do to fix up the house and also have fun this spring/summer and it turns out our list is about 150 items long and is going to cost us at least one million dollars. After we added it [...]
Continue reading about It’s Just Amazing I Haven’t Been Snatched Up as Somebody’s Life Coach Already
So I have this friend with a birthday coming up and I didn’t really know what to get him so I went to Amazon.com because they have, like, EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD THAT HAS EVER BEEN CREATED SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME but it turns out, it’s kind of hard to sort through EVERYTHING IN [...]
Just a few totally random things about me (wink, wink) that I felt like sharing today, not for any particular reason (wink) but just because I like you and want you to know me a little better (wink, wink). I have a superduperawesomefantastichilariouslyfunny new column over at FunnyNotSlutty.com. This month’s piece is called 9 Reasons [...]
