Bejewell on December 22nd, 2014

Today is December 22nd or, as I know it, The Day That Amazon Prime Officially Owns All Our Asses. If you’re a lazy, disorganized fuck like me and now find yourself a slave to the corporate 2-Day Shipping gods, today is your last day to serve your Lord and Master and get that shit here [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about Customers Also Viewed…

Bejewell on May 7th, 2014

I don’t often do giveaways. In fact, I’ve only done one giveaway on this blog that I can remember, and that was like six years ago when I still had a Blackberry. I gave a $5 gift card to the first person who correctly identified the mysterious booger-like substance I found on my desk. (Correct [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about Know Who’ll Love This Giveaway? Your Mom

Bejewell on March 14th, 2014

Today is National Pi Day. Pi is a really really long number that has something to with circles. It’s important for a lot of big reasons that a lot of very smart people understand. On Pi Day they get super excited and talk about it a lot. And that’s everything I know about Pi. In [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about Happy Pie Day!

So someone who clearly has no real grasp of social media in Texas nominated me for the Austin American-Statesman‘s Texas Social Media Award, which is SO prestigious that I had never heard of it until I checked my blog stats last night and saw that someone from the Statesman had been here so of course [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about Social media people love me. Or want to sacrifice me to the zombies. Whatever.

New Year’s Resolutions, 2010: I resolve to lose my keys or glasses or some other item essential to my daily life at least twice a week, and then embark on a mad search through the house while uttering vile curse words under my breath but just loud enough that the impressionable child who likes to [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about New Year’s Resolutions that I Have Like a 100% Chance of Accomplishing

Today I learned that “unfriending” someone on Facebook is the Ultimate Form of Insult, and by “learned” I mean that someone did it to me and by “insult” I mean “Really? B-b-but… I thought we were (sniff) f-f-f-friends? (sniff).” It totally hurt my feelings and made me feel all stabby and hateful, because being stabby [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about People Who “Unfriend” Me Can Suck It (Alternate Title: Is It Safe to Come Out Yet?)

Bejewell on March 17th, 2009

Ohmygod, ya’ll, I just won a MAJOR AWARD!  Can you believe it?  Well, shit, you don’t have to sound so surprised.  Is it really THAT hard to believe, that I might win some kind of award?  Really?  Oh. Well anyway, I DID win an award.  A MAJOR AWARD.   And unlike all those lame, stupid awards [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about A Major Award

Bejewell on July 21st, 2008

So, over the weekend I published another Fucking Awesome post for the HUGE BlogHerNot event, which MommyPie hosted and for which I was honored to be an esteemed instructor. Soon after my post went up, my psycho stalker readers devoted students started leaving their comments, totally blowing smoke up my ass expressing their appreciation and [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about I’m a Cat’s Ass AND an Award Winner