Bejewell on August 28th, 2014

If you’re currently growing out your facial hair and considering the Full Beard + No Mustache option — but you’re unsure if this is the right look for you — please ask yourself the following questions: 1.  Are you Amish? 2. Are you Abraham Lincoln? 3. Are you a leprechaun? 4. Are you Uncle Sam? [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about The Cosmo Quiz: Facial Hair Edition

Bejewell on November 6th, 2012

How I felt when the election coverage really started gearing up: How I felt when the Republicans picked Mitt Romney as their candidate: What I see every time I look at Donald Trump: How I feel every time Michele Bachmann opens her mouth to say something: How I felt about all my friends on Facebook [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about My Feelings About Election 2012, In Cat Pictures

Bejewell on October 17th, 2012

Disclaimer: The title of this post is “How I Spent Three Hours Looking at Fake Vaginas.” I called it that because I actually DID look at fake vaginas, and then I wrote about it. Here. In this post. There are also pictures of fake vaginas. Here. In this post. If you don’t want to see [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about How I Spent Three Hours Looking at Fake Vaginas

Each one of the terms below has been used to find my blog in recent weeks, through Google or another search engine. I have categorized them for your easy reference. You’re welcome. Before you browse, though, let me just clarify: EACH OF THESE WAS, AT SOME POINT, TYPED INTO A SEARCH ENGINE BY A HUMAN [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about Latest Search Terms: Weiners, Midgets, Missing Forks and That Bitch Karen

Bejewell on July 31st, 2011
  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about So You Think You Can Break?

So there’s this new show on HBO about royal families in some kind of weird medieval fantasy world, I forget what it’s called but it’s got a horny dwarf who whores his way around the countryside and another guy who likes giving the meat to his twin sister, which is just ALL KINDS of ick [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about Midgets, Incest and Pony Play – Just Another Run of the Mill Blog Post Here at The Bean

A few weeks ago a friend emailed me and was all, “Chip Coffey’s going to be in Austin soon, do you want to go see him? I can get you free passes” and I was all “Sure that sounds awesome! I can’t wait to see Chuck Coffey!” and then “Wait, who the hell is Chuck [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about You Don’t Have to Be Psychic to Know That I Will Probably Barf on Agricultural Consultant Chuck Coffey

Holiday Sweater Lady – Mid 50s. Married with 4 grown children. Copes with Empty Nest Syndrome by gleefully and obnoxiously organizing all office social events.  Sweater for every occasion. Cranky Old Scottish Man – Late 60s. Lifelong bachelor. Often wears ratty cardigan and glasses on tip of nose. Discusses retirement daily. The Stickler – Early [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about State Government, Department of Melancholy: Current Cast of Characters

Bejewell on December 28th, 2010

So the Big Bean and I have this ongoing argument about how awesome Facebook is.  I say it’s awesome times one zillion and he says it’s negative awesome.  He is totally wrong as usual and even though I say so all the time he doesn’t believe me, which is super lame and also dangerous because [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about I Like Soup.

Bejewell on August 25th, 2010
  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about Dear Midget Friend: I Hope You’re Happy