So I don’t know if you’ll remember this but I’ve spent the past five years working next to a guy who is gross and creepy and horrible and I’ve spent a lot of time air-strangling him and making obscene gestures at him from behind our shared cubicle wall and quoting him on Twitter while HE [...]
So last night after I published this post about search terms I got an email from my midget friend (a.k.a. My Second or Possibly Third Husband) and he was all, “What, no midget searches? There were a ton of midget searches on your last post about keywords” and I was all, “Gee, I guess nobody’s [...]
Continue reading about I Can’t Think of a Good Title for This Post so Let’s Just Call it “MIDGETS”
So last night I was doing my weekly holy-shit-it’s-Sunday-night-and-none-of-us-have-clean-underwear laundry when an enormous cockroach scurried across the floor and when I say “scurried across the floor” I mean “tried to attack me and eat my face off” and when I say “enormous” that really doesn’t do it justice but I’ve spent the last twenty minutes [...]
So after much deliberation and one absolutely SPECTACULAR summer break, I’ve decided NOT to kill the blog for good but instead to come back with a fiery vengeance. (And by “fiery vengeance,” I mean “maybe I’ll write a post every now and then, if I happen to remember and don’t have anything better to do.” [...]
The Bean is officially on Summer Break. But don’t give up on me just yet. Keep checking back all summer and follow my little bean on one seriously nutty vacation… or find other weird, silly, ridiculous bullshit that I just can’t stop myself from posting because I’m, well… ME. No regular posts are planned, but [...]
Okay. I’m going to tell y’all a little secret. Sometimes I just HATE this fucking blog. And other times — maybe worse — I just don’t give a shit. I’ve gone five days now without taking even one tiny peek at my blog stats/traffic, and if you lived with me you would know what a [...]
So tonight I went to an open house for a local spa/salon which sounds really fancy but in reality was just kind of awkward. At least it WAS until the BFF and I found the wine. Then it was just awkward for the other people around us. Ask Lotus. She was there. I’m sure she’d [...]
