Bejewell on February 19th, 2014

So, I did this thing where I spent 27 years* writing a book and now that it’s done I fucking hate it. I mean, I don’t actually hate the book itself – That would be ridiculous! It’s an awesome book! – but I DO hate that I spent 36 years* working on it and now [...]

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Continue reading about I Hate My Book

Originally published February 3, 2011. Republishing today because… I don’t know. It’s fucking cold, okay, and we all need to lighten up. Nothing funnier than witch’s tits and roasted Shih Tzus, I always say. Stay warm, y’all. —– Yesterday when I woke up it was 17 degrees outside, and the reason I know this is [...]

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Continue reading about Old Post Re-Tread: I’m Not Actually Sure HOW Cold A Witch’s Tit Gets

Bejewell on September 20th, 2013

Good night. Love,

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Bejewell on August 23rd, 2013

Perky Mom’s so friendly Perky Mom’s so cool Perky Mom’s at soccer practice Perky Mom’s at school Perky Mom is cute Perky Mom is thin Perky Mom has not a single Wrinkle on her skin Perky Mom gives high fives Perky Mom cheers the team Perky Mom is every horny Perky Dad’s wet dream Perky [...]

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Bejewell on July 1st, 2013

A few things: You can’t pretend to be smarter than me and say things like “Accident happens” at the same time. I start to get silly with the pool noodle at right about the same time that I realize I’m losing the argument. We did not have to do the dishes after this.  ”And let [...]

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Bejewell on February 28th, 2013

This will come as a shock to no one, but sometimes I can be a little fucked in the head. Nothing too nut-tastic – I’m not sitting naked on my couch in a tin foil hat or screaming about Barack Obama’s birth certificate, or anything – but the typical depression stuff can grab me with [...]

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Continue reading about The Bear and the Bunny

I’m trying to understand why every person in the world* loves Downton Abbey so much but so far I’m drawing a blank. I suppose I’d get some insight if I actually WATCHED Downton Abbey, but what I’m finding is that the more people try to make me feel like a stupid asshole for NOT watching [...]

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Bejewell on January 23rd, 2013

A few months ago I applied for a job and got a call back. It was an okay job. Not perfect, not great – but 2012 had really punched me in the nads and I desperately needed the work, so in true Beej fashion I overlooked every negative and convinced myself that this was the [...]

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Continue reading about On Beej’s Total Inability to Accept Rejection

Bejewell on December 12th, 2012

The endless cycle of Beej’s hair: grow out, get bored, cut, cry, grow out, get bored, cut, cry, and so on A “party” where you are expected to buy shit is NOT a party. It is a SALE. Hiding Out and Soul Man: Proof that both racism and statutory rape were a lot funnier in the [...]

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Continue reading about Recently Rejected Blog Post Topics

Bejewell on November 6th, 2012

How I felt when the election coverage really started gearing up: How I felt when the Republicans picked Mitt Romney as their candidate: What I see every time I look at Donald Trump: How I feel every time Michele Bachmann opens her mouth to say something: How I felt about all my friends on Facebook [...]

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Continue reading about My Feelings About Election 2012, In Cat Pictures