So after much deliberation and one absolutely SPECTACULAR summer break, I’ve decided NOT to kill the blog for good but instead to come back with a fiery vengeance. (And by “fiery vengeance,” I mean “maybe I’ll write a post every now and then, if I happen to remember and don’t have anything better to do.” [...]
My friend and also a person I enjoy stalking both electronically and in person Lotus over at Sarcastic Mom does this totally weird slightly pervy super cool thing every year on her blog, where she gets a bunch of people to flaunt scare people with show off their boobs. I wasn’t going to do it, [...]
So over the weekend my friend Big Boobs and I took our kids to Sea World, and there are a lot of things I could say about that but right now all I can think about is how the hell am I going to pay my bills after the HUGE ass-beating my wallet just took [...]
Continue reading about Shamu Can Suck It. Dolphins Are Where It’s At
You know how sometimes you hate something SO MUCH that you just want to stab it in the eyes with a thousand knives and then laugh a terrifying cackle while you stand over it and watch it bleed out? And if it was an actual person you would totally do the stabby-cackly thing without a [...]
New Year’s Resolutions, 2010: I resolve to lose my keys or glasses or some other item essential to my daily life at least twice a week and then embark on a mad search through the house while uttering vile curse words under my breath but just loud enough that the impressionable child who likes to [...]
Continue reading about New Year’s Resolutions that I Have Like a 100% Chance of Accomplishing
So is it just me, or is this Baby New Year thing totally disturbing? I didn’t even know what Baby New Year was until I saw the Holiday Sweater Lady in her huge blue sweater today, with a baby taking up like half her chest in its top hat and beauty pagent sash, and I was all, “Why [...]
Continue reading about Baby New Year: Somebody Call Child Protective Services
Listen, I love the holidays as much as the next guy, I really do. And I love them even MORE this year, because this year my little Bean is discovering Christmas for the first time, with the trees and the tinsel and the gifts and the stockings, and we’re suddenly VERY concerned about our status [...]
There’s a lollipop in my hair There’s a lollipop in my hair It’s strange how much I do not care About the lollipop in my hair. The Bean was so happy at first, with his treat But his body was moving too fast for his feet And all of a sudden! FALL DOWN GO BOOM! [...]
So over the weekend we took the Bean to this place called Kiddie Acres, which is just down the street from our house and really, that’s its only redeeming quality. Actually, that’s not true, it does have ponies and putt-putt and rides for kids under 10 to enjoy but if you’re an adult who likes [...]
Continue reading about The Old Days Were Both Terrifying and Awesome
