Bejewell on December 17th, 2013

First published December 10, 2009. I’m trotting it out again because it still holds true, and also because LOOK AT MY BABY WHO’S NOT A BABY ANYMORE. (SOB) ————— Listen, I love the holidays as much as the next guy, I really do. And I love them even MORE this year, because this year my [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about WTF, Dan Fogelberg?

Bejewell on August 23rd, 2013

Perky Mom’s so friendly Perky Mom’s so cool Perky Mom’s at soccer practice Perky Mom’s at school Perky Mom is cute Perky Mom is thin Perky Mom has not a single Wrinkle on her skin Perky Mom gives high fives Perky Mom cheers the team Perky Mom is every horny Perky Dad’s wet dream Perky [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about Perky Mom

Bejewell on May 23rd, 2013

There’s a cramp in my left leg And a sharp pain in my neck When I get up in the morning I’ll still feel both, I suspect There’s a leg wrapped ‘round my belly Slightly shorter than my own An elbow jabs and pokes and stabs Between my shoulder bones A smallish hand is draped [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about Not Sleeping

Bejewell on April 27th, 2013

I’m not a good mom. My son’s class has two Room Moms. They are young and cute and thin. They are BFFs, and they love to make crafts they find on Pinterest. They chaperone every field trip and organize every holiday party. They make me itchy. I don’t know their names (though they’ve told me [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about I’m Not a Good Mom

Bejewell on February 28th, 2013

This will come as a shock to no one, but sometimes I can be a little fucked in the head. Nothing too nut-tastic – I’m not sitting naked on my couch in a tin foil hat or screaming about Barack Obama’s birth certificate, or anything – but the typical depression stuff can grab me with [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about The Bear and the Bunny

Bejewell on November 4th, 2012

Yesterday the Bean and I went to a carnival. We found it totally by accident, on our way to another event called “Touch a Truck” which was basically just a huge, dusty field lined with big trucks, a partially deflated bouncy house, and a big pile of dirt for kids to fuck around in and [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about Observations from a Carnival

Bejewell on September 10th, 2012

Dear Old Lady Who Thinks She’s the Boss of Me: I don’t know if you know this, but I’m FIVE. And when you turn five, that means YOU get to be the boss and you don’t have to listen to your mom OR your dad, especially when they’re telling you that it’s not “healthy” to [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about The Bean’s New Rules

Bejewell on June 13th, 2012

Your baby is so ugly Your baby is so gross I don’t want to touch it I don’t want it close Please don’t make me hold it Or pretend to think it’s cute It scares me, with its face that’s so Misshapen and hirsute I know you love it dearly And I think that’s very [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about Ugly Baby

Bejewell on May 11th, 2012

Okay. So. This thing about the breastfeeding. There she is, y’all. The perfect mom. She’s skinny and pretty and her boobs are still perky even, somehow, with a three-year-old kid attached to one. Yep, there she stands – all “HELL YEAH THAT’S MY BOOB, BITCHES” – provocative, defiant, blah blah, while Internet moms falling squarely [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about All This Talk About Boobs.

Bejewell on January 20th, 2012

From Quiet to Chaos, 2011 Crayon on glass, with drapery overlay Interpretation/Critique: Clearly, the artist was trying to convey a sense of desperation and mayhem as one makes the transition from a quiet, self-reflective night to a day lived outside oneself, bringing all of one’s inner turmoil out into the light for the rest of [...]

  • Share/Bookmark

Continue reading about The Artist’s Early Work: A Portfolio