I originally wrote this a couple of years ago, as a guest post for my friend John at Living With Balls. It remains one of my mom’s favorites, so I’m re-posting it for her. Also, because I’m (semi)determined to keep that promise I made to myself, to post something here once a week — but [...]

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Continue reading about Why I Will Never Be a Professional Sportscaster. Or Geography Teacher. Or Guest Poster.

Bejewell on April 28th, 2011

After I accidentally fired myself last week, my friend Joey invited me to a networking event to make new professional connections. I thought going was a pretty good idea, considering (1) the strong likelihood that I’d soon be unemployed and (B) my ongoing, desperate need to make a complete ASS out of myself in a [...]

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Continue reading about But I Really Do Wish Nick the Best

Bejewell on November 27th, 2009

Grandparents Sisters and moms Good friends Other people cooking my Thanksgiving meal Shunning the papparazzi  My Bean  Good food that I did not prepare The Big Bean and a full stomach A family that doesn’t complain once when I make them wear reindeer antlers for photos A husband and son who can’t resist doing something [...]

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Continue reading about What I’m Thankful For

Bejewell on November 28th, 2008

Zoo-Related Random Thought #1:  My dad is fucking awesome.   Zoo-Related Random Thought #2:  My stepmom is fucking awesome.   Zoo-Related Random Thought #3:  Elephants are fucking awesome.   Zoo-Related Random Thought #4:  Giraffes are fucking awesome.   Zoo-Related Random Thought #5:  Seeing it all through the Bean’s eyes?  Fucking awesome.   Zoo-Related Random Thought #6:  Grandparents are fucking awesome. [...]

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Continue reading about Bizarre Randomness, San Diego Zoo Edition

Bejewell on November 27th, 2008

I’m sure there’ve been plenty of Thanksgiving posts today about what people are grateful for and blessings and shit like that, and I’m definitely grateful for a lot of things and certainly recognize that my life could be a whole lot fucking worse than it is.  I have a lot of conflicting feelings about Thanksgiving, [...]

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Bejewell on July 11th, 2008

This is my mom. She is Fucking Awesome.  Today (July 12) is her birthday.   Besides the fact that she gave me life (and I now know just how awful that process was, finally having done it myself), there are a million-kazillion-bajillion other reasons why I love her.  These are just eleven of them. 11. She uses [...]

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Continue reading about Top 11 Reasons Why My Mom is a Boxful of Awesomeness

Bejewell on July 3rd, 2008

I recently published a post called I’m Trapped in the Hell Where Bad Fashions Go To Die.  (Have you read it?  If not, you should.  It’s Very Insightful.)  My first version of this Brilliant Post included a photo of Melanie Griffith taken from the movie Working Girl, wearing a blazer with shoulder pads so large [...]

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Continue reading about Really, She Loves Me