So after much deliberation and one absolutely SPECTACULAR summer break, I’ve decided NOT to kill the blog for good but instead to come back with a fiery vengeance. (And by “fiery vengeance,” I mean “maybe I’ll write a post every now and then, if I happen to remember and don’t have anything better to do.” [...]
So tomorrow is Mother’s Day and Mother’s Day is the kind of holiday I’d normally think is total bullshit and want to stab people for celebrating, but because I actually AM a mom now and thus stand to benefit from its bullshittiness, MOTHERS DAY IS AWESOME. And not bullshit at all. Because I want lots [...]
Continue reading about Mother’s Day is Bullshit Until You’re a Mother and Then It’s AWESOME
So last week the Big Bean and I made a list of things that we want to do to fix up the house and also have fun this spring/summer and it turns out our list is about 150 items long and is going to cost us at least one million dollars. After we added it [...]
Continue reading about It’s Just Amazing I Haven’t Been Snatched Up as Somebody’s Life Coach Already
Listen, I love the holidays as much as the next guy, I really do. And I love them even MORE this year, because this year my little Bean is discovering Christmas for the first time, with the trees and the tinsel and the gifts and the stockings, and we’re suddenly VERY concerned about our status [...]
OH MY GOD I AM SO THIRSTY. I’ve been on the couch all day eating pretzels and watching TV and playing on my computer (NOT PORN, YOU PERVS) and I need more Diet Coke but I haven’t gotten up for it because that involves me, well, getting up, and this is my day off so FUCK [...]
Today I learned that “unfriending” someone on Facebook is the Ultimate Form of Insult, and by “learned” I mean that someone did it to me and by “insult” I mean “Really? B-b-but… I thought we were (sniff) f-f-f-friends? (sniff).” It totally hurt my feelings and made me feel all stabby and hateful, because being stabby [...]
I’d planned to pull something out of my ass write a real post today but this is pretty much my last day to pretend to get my shit together before I have to do a bunch of unnecessary work created for me by the assholes who decided to schedule birthday parties and company picnics and [...]
Wow, I’m really racking up quite the list of people who might want to murder me lately. I just added number five, and that’s a lot for me. Well, okay, it’s one above average. But still. I keep a People-Who-Should-Be-Investigated-in-the-Event-of-my-Death List in my desk drawer at work so in case anything ever happens to me the [...]
Holy SHIT it’s been a long time since I posted anything here. What the hell is wrong with me? I mean, besides the consumption, and the fact that after I recovered from consumption the Bean got sick, and then the BIG Bean got sick, and when the Big Bean is sick it’s not like when [...]
