The endless cycle of Beej’s hair: grow out, get bored, cut, cry, grow out, get bored, cut, cry, and so on A “party” where you are expected to buy shit is NOT a party. It is a SALE. Hiding Out and Soul Man: Proof that both racism and statutory rape were a lot funnier in the [...]
Yesterday the Bean and I went to a carnival. We found it totally by accident, on our way to another event called “Touch a Truck” which was basically just a huge, dusty field lined with big trucks, a partially deflated bouncy house, and a big pile of dirt for kids to fuck around in and [...]
Suddenly today I feel like I should write something here. Probably because it’s been like three months since I wrote anything on this stupid blog (unless you count that time last month when I told the Jesus pamphlet people to suck it) (which I don’t and probably nobody else does, either), but it also could [...]
Traffic My hair Shitty Grammy Award recaps Valentine’s Day This fucking dog The number of people who keep telling me how “underrated” my blog is Twitter People who ignore me on Twitter Facebook People who ignore me on Facebook Sugar highs Sugar lows THE FUCKING CHEERFUL HOLIDAY SWEATER LADY Overpriced bowling alleys Lady Antebellum Bruno [...]
Yesterday morning when I woke up it was 17 degrees outside, and the reason I know this is because I opened Facebook and there were about 10 different pictures of temperature gauges and iPhone weather report thingies informing me that it was 17 degrees outside. Mostly with comments expressing disbelief over the “extreme cold” even [...]
Continue reading about I’m Not Actually Sure HOW Cold A Witch’s Tit Gets
Hi. I haven’t written anything in a while. Maybe you’ve noticed. Probably you haven’t. Whatever. I guess I should be more concerned about that, or more apologetic for my absence, or more… well, something, but the truth is I’m in the middle of a big, ugly, funky FUNK right now and we’re probably ALL better [...]
So after much deliberation and one absolutely SPECTACULAR summer break, I’ve decided NOT to kill the blog for good but instead to come back with a fiery vengeance. (And by “fiery vengeance,” I mean “maybe I’ll write a post every now and then, if I happen to remember and don’t have anything better to do.” [...]
So tomorrow is Mother’s Day and Mother’s Day is the kind of holiday I’d normally think is total bullshit and want to stab people for celebrating, but because I actually AM a mom now and thus stand to benefit from its bullshit, I’ve decided that MOTHER’S DAY IS AWESOME. And not bullshit at all. Because [...]
Continue reading about Mother’s Day is Bullshit Until You’re a Mother and Then It’s AWESOME
So last week the Big Bean and I made a list of things that we want to do to fix up the house and also have fun this spring/summer and it turns out our list is about 150 items long and is going to cost us at least one million dollars. After we added it [...]
Continue reading about It’s Just Amazing I Haven’t Been Snatched Up as Somebody’s Life Coach Already
