Bejewell on February 28th, 2013

This will come as a shock to no one, but sometimes I can be a little fucked in the head. Nothing too nut-tastic – I’m not sitting naked on my couch in a tin foil hat or screaming about Barack Obama’s birth certificate, or anything – but the typical depression stuff can grab me with [...]

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Bejewell on May 11th, 2012

Okay. So. This thing about the breastfeeding. There she is, y’all. The perfect mom. She’s skinny and pretty and her boobs are still perky even, somehow, with a three-year-old kid attached to one. Yep, there she stands – all “HELL YEAH THAT’S MY BOOB, BITCHES” – provocative, defiant, blah blah, while Internet moms falling squarely [...]

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Bejewell on March 7th, 2011

This is my friend Jen. Jen is one of my very best friends and has been, on and off, since we were seven. We’ve had big bumps in the road, drifted apart, found each other again and repaired the damage more than once.  The biggest fight I’ve ever had with anyone in public was with [...]

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Bejewell on November 22nd, 2010

So, this post is going to be about three things.  All related in one way or another. What the fuck I’ve been doing Groupon’s Plan to Destroy My Life, one major discount at a time Pictures of me in my underwear Feel free to skip unimportant sections at your leisure. ***** 1. What the fuck [...]

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Bejewell on June 1st, 2010

Okay.  I’m going to tell y’all a little secret. Sometimes I just HATE this fucking blog. And other times — maybe worse — I just don’t give a shit. I’ve gone five days now without taking even one tiny peek at my blog stats/traffic, and if you lived with me you would know what a [...]

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Continue reading about Stick a Fork in Me

I don’t like to touch matters of religion or politics on this blog too often, mostly because I’m very comfortable with my own feelings on those subjects and don’t feel any particular need to share them with anyone else, but also partly because lately, when it comes to religion and politics, everyone’s an asshole.  I [...]

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Continue reading about Jesus Wouldn’t Know What To Do With a Hot Glue Gun, Anyway

Bejewell on March 22nd, 2010

A few months ago I was referred to something they call a “pain management specialist” for steroid injections, meant to relieve a chronic pain in my neck (and I don’t mean the husband - ba-dum-bump). I walked into the office and announced myself to the receptionist, who promptly handed me The Clipboard — you know, the [...]

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Bejewell on November 18th, 2009

12 Times the Big Bean laughed out loud when he read my last post  2 Times he farted loudly 2 Facts he disputed 0 Facts I will retract 1 Time he accused me of “over-reacting,” bringing the total to 1,232  0 Times he will say that again, if he knows what’s good for him 100 [...]

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Bejewell on November 16th, 2009

13 Years the Big Bean and I have been married, as of today  5 Years we were together before we got married, more or less 19 My age when we first met 161 My age now (in dog years) 127 Guests at our wedding, if you count the guy in the tuxedo t-shirt, the old [...]

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Bejewell on November 11th, 2009

My grandfather is a quiet man. He’s not in-your-face; he’s not gregarious. He doesn’t go out of his way to make his presence known in a room. He lets others be noticed while he stands back and watches, hands in pockets or arms folded. He’s thoughtful, wise, generous. I’ve never known anyone else so pure of [...]

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