Bejewell on July 20th, 2015

Last week my silly little book was named the winner of the Discovery Prize in the Poetry category of the 2014 Book Awards from the Writers’ League of Texas. This was a total surprise, for lots of reasons. Here are just a few: I’d completely forgotten that I’d entered this contest. I’d completely forgotten that [...]

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Bejewell on September 22nd, 2014

I’ve eaten too much Not a single bite more can pass between these lips (Unless, of course, our server comes by and refills the tortilla chips.)

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Bejewell on March 14th, 2014

Today is National Pi Day. Pi is a really really long number that has something to with circles. It’s important for a lot of big reasons that a lot of very smart people understand. On Pi Day they get super excited and talk about it a lot. And that’s everything I know about Pi. In [...]

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Bejewell on February 23rd, 2014

There’s this little book I wrote called Something Smells Like Pee It’s filled with witty poems and a sketch or two or three Now it’s published and for sale and what I’d like to see Are great reviews and many, many checks of royalty I’m out here hawking it to all my friends and family [...]

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Bejewell on February 19th, 2014

So, I did this thing where I spent 27 years* writing a book and now that it’s done I fucking hate it. I mean, I don’t actually hate the book itself – That would be ridiculous! It’s an awesome book! – but I DO hate that I spent 36 years* working on it and now [...]

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Bejewell on December 20th, 2013

The Apocalypse is here and it is not what you expected No nuke weapons, gamma rays or UFOs detected There’s been no viral outbreak and no zombies hunt for brains No daring last-minute escapes from torrential rains No comets hurtling toward Earth, no global overcrowd, and so far Jesus has not floated in atop a [...]

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Bejewell on December 9th, 2013

You drop your clothes onto the floor right next to the hamper And off you go, although you know I’m not a happy camper You bug me when you know I’m stressed and under the deadline gun You start projects ‘round the house and leave them halfway done You’re terrible at giving comfort when I’m [...]

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Bejewell on October 10th, 2013

1. Waste of Time Haiku Instead of meeting I could be doing the things We’re meeting about 2. Nodding Head Haiku It looks like I care About what you are saying Really not so much 3. Happy Co-Worker Haiku Please shut the hell up Your cheerful ass-kissiness Is annoying me 4. Stomach Growling Haiku I’m [...]

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Bejewell on August 23rd, 2013

Perky Mom’s so friendly Perky Mom’s so cool Perky Mom’s at soccer practice Perky Mom’s at school Perky Mom is cute Perky Mom is thin Perky Mom has not a single Wrinkle on her skin Perky Mom gives high fives Perky Mom cheers the team Perky Mom is every horny Perky Dad’s wet dream Perky [...]

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Bejewell on July 16th, 2013

I know that you’re just boys I know you’re only six But if you make my kid cry I will punch you in your dicks.

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