I wash my hair I wash my face I wash my body all over the place And when I reach that one spot, there… There’s always a glob of hair. As the shampoo rinses From each long tress Some falls from my head in a graceful mess I don’t notice it trail right down my [...]
Welcome home, little plant I hope happiness fills you In the short time you’re here Before my black thumb kills you.
He’s sexy and sparkly and a girl’s true desire. So what if he’s an old, dead vampire? It didn’t stop Bella from lighting his fire… But still. Shut the fuck up about Twilight. I get it — this story’s the stuff made of dreams. Panties cream, from old moms to young teens. But these books [...]
Since we first met, we’ve been best of friends Held hands and each other’s hair, time and again We’ve stood, strong and tall, through thick and through thin, and We’re on our periods together. Our husbands and children, all like family, too They love, laugh and bicker just like we used to, but When Auntie [...]
It started as a little pile A little pile, of dirty style To wash it would just take a while A very short, short while. But my life was busy, so I let it grow, even though I needed clean and folded clothes I really let it go. The family just kept adding more The [...]
“What we need is a BIG day of prayer!” Shouted Governor Perry with flair But Rick, I’ve no doubt That we’re in this damned drought Because Jesus hates you and your hair.
“Where did all the lotion go?” asked the lady of the fly. “It’s morning, and I need it so! My skin’s so very dry!” “I use my lotion every day but lately seem to find, no matter what I do that bottle’s empty all the time!” “Could it be a lotion gnome, who’s sneaking in [...]
There’s a lollipop in my hair There’s a lollipop in my hair It’s strange how much I do not care About the lollipop in my hair. My boy was so happy at first, with his treat But his body was moving too fast for his feet And all of a sudden — FALL DOWN! GO [...]
You clean up my messes You soak up my spills When you’re fresh from the dryer You chase away chills In the kitchen, you dry, Clean and cover up treats In the car, you protect butts From hot leather seats At the gym, you wipe sweat And might act as a mat In the locker [...]
On Boogers There are two nostrils on this face And five fingers on this hand But only one’s the perfect fit For the boogery snack that’s planned. ****************** On Farts A funny noise across the room A smell NOT for the faint-hearted But only when I hear the giggles Do I know The [...]