Comments on: About the Bean and Me

By: Erik O

Erik O — Thu, 20 May 2010 18:41:34 +0000

Dear Beej,

You and Tracy are not allowed to hang out. Unless you want to.

By: Tracy O

Tracy O — Wed, 19 May 2010 20:26:26 +0000

You SHOULD have issue with driving behind trucks with big loads… and here is why. I was driving my husbands new ford 150 up 1-35 towards Round Rock, TX. It was 7ish pm with moderate traffic. I was behind a carnival truck in the middle lane, thinking about my irrational fear of carnies with no teeth. Anyway, the trailer behind the truck had a GIANT polka-dotted mushroom with 3 clown heads, in theory, secured on either side. No I was not on drugs as the 911 operator thought, but more about that later. I’m driving behind this thinking, “man, it sure would suck to get crushed by a giant metal mushroom”. While writing my incredibly funny obit in my head, I decided to move into the right hand lane just in case. No more than 10 seconds after changing lanes, I saw a strap snap and one of the clown heads jumped out of the trailer, hit the highway, exactly where my truck would have been and bounced into the inside lane, hit the median, bounces off and hit a car, crash, honk, smack, screech, OMFG all happening in my review mirror. And I’m thinking, “Fuck, I’m psychic….. Fuck!”. I fumble for the phone and call 911, while trying to get the carnie truck to pull over as they don’t realize they have lost a clown head. “911, what is your emergency?” “I’m on 1-35 going north, just past 620, there is a yellow carnival truck with a fucking giant mushroom. They just lost a clown head. It bounced in the center lane where I fucking just was. It bounced and hit a few cars, I heard crashes and honks…” “Ma’am, are you intoxicated?” “Fuck! No, seriously there is a GIANT metal mushroom…. ”

They started getting other calls and decided that I was not hallucinating. Beyond being psychic, I learned that it is not a good idea to leave your out-of-town husband a message that says, “Oh my fucking god, I almost died tonight in your new truck! A giant fucking clown head almost crushed me. But it’s good now, love you, k bai”.

By: melanirae

melanirae — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 09:57:00 +0000

My daughter is also called Bean I gave her that name because she was a compulsive bed jumper and I grew up in Arizona.

By: Paul

Paul — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 20:03:00 +0000

You definitely should be writing a column. Weekly at least. If no newspapers in Texas are intelligent enough to recognize your talent, you should consider moving.

By: tweet adder

tweet adder — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 22:41:50 +0000

Haven?t known that there is a contest submitting site before!

By: Julie of Mamapedia

Julie of Mamapedia — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 06:27:55 +0000

Hi Beej,

I’m Julie, the editor of “Mamapedia Voices”, and we feature guest bloggers on Mamapedia, a site for Moms all across the country. I’ve just found your blog, and would like to invite you write a piece which could be featured on our site.

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If you would like to participate, please take a look at Mamapedia Voices. Next, sign up here http://bit.ly/BloggerSignUp to be on the blogger roster, and then you will be able to see the complete (and easy) instructions for submitting a piece for consideration.

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If you have our badge on your blog, you’ll be entered into a drawing to win $100 for your favorite women’s, children’s or family charity! And you’ll be listed on our blog roll.

Thank you, and I look forward to reading more of your work!

Best wishes,
Julie D’Agostino
Editor, Mamapedia Voices

By: Elle

Elle — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 03:14:16 +0000

It's official, I'm in love with you and your beans (mostly your blog). And what's ironic is that I think the best place for crushed is the the Coffee Bean!! Whaaaaa!!!!!! I don't know what it is about their crushed ice, but it's truly the best. I don't even know if you have a Coffee Bean in TX.. anyhow, I trust your ability to Google if you don't know what I'm talking about. Elles last blog post..Spinning 101

By: Roni

Roni — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 18:15:52 +0000

My GOD! Where we separated at birth? My husbands a JACK ASS too but I keep him around cause he makes me laugh (too) and my son is perfect in every way accept when he’s being a whiny jerk. I can say that now that’s almost 4.

And I love you’re response to Penn that’s is SO how I would have answered… again we were separated at birth I tell ya.

Love the blog.. just had to tell ya.

Ronis last blog post..What does dieting mean to you?

By: DocF

DocF — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 02:22:21 +0000

OK. I get it. And you ARE Fucking Awesome. How the hell am I going to stay ‘on time’ now, huh?

By: Craig

Craig — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 05:02:09 +0000

How have I missed this blog? Just when I think personal blogs are enormous dunghills of stupid ideas and worse writing, I end up here, on a fellow Austinite's site, reading post after post and laughing out loud late into the night. Thanks for sharing. Somebody should pay you big money to do this. Craigs last blog post..The Robot hiding in the kitchen