Bejewell on November 3rd, 2008

So when I was cruising around Blogland yesterday I noticed that several of my very favorite blog writers have joined this thing called NaBloPoMo, and I was all, “Why’re all these people promoting a bunch of pedophiles?  Sickos!!” but then I realized I was actually thinking of NAMBLA, which stands for Man-Boy-Love, or something, and is totally gross and offensive.  It turns out NaBloPoMo doesn’t have anything to do with pedophiles at all, but instead it’s a ridiculously lame abbreviation of “National Blog Post Month,” which is some kind of weird movement where a bunch of bloggers join up and agree to post something every single day for the entire month of November.

Which is almost equally as twisted.

After I figured out that NaBloPoMo (do you have any idea how annoying it is to type something with so many misplaced capitalized letters?) was NOT a perverted blog movement promoting pedophiles but instead a month-long, daily blog festival, I wondered to myself, “Why on EARTH would anyone want to do THAT?” which was a little awkward because I actually said that out loud and the creepy dude in the next cubicle heard me and immediately wanted to know “Why on earth would anyone want to do WHAT?” and I had to come up with something real quick-like because I am SO NEVER letting that guy know that I have a blog.  So I just said the first thing that came to my mind, which was, “Pee their name in the snow” and he was all “I can do that” and I was all “Congratulations” and he was all “Well, if it’s winter, and you’re outside, might as well have fun with it…” and I was all “SHUT UP! I don’t want to know about your weird pee habits!” and he was all “Well, you asked.”  And I couldn’t really argue with that because I guess I kind of did.  And he laughed like it was funny that he grossed me out but really he didn’t understand how gross I actually think he is, all the time, with or without this new peeing knowledge.

But the point is, I struggle enough just to write a couple of posts a week, and I think you’ve seen how the already questionable “quality” of my “writing” can suffer when I’m under pressure to publish something.  It’s not unusual for me to go three or four days without a post and then freak out and write whatever the hell is running through my mind, and the next thing you know there’s some bizarre post about a shrunken version of Sammy Davis, Jr. controlling my body, or a crazy conspiracy theory in which my husband and Crock Pot are in cahoots to kill me with blinding insanity, or I’m posting exploitative pictures of my son or gratuitous photos of my husband for a cheap laugh (which is still totally worth it), or I’m just aimlessly rambling on about the gross top of my refrigerator or getting stuck in traffic(See previous paragraph if you’re not sure what I mean.) 

Basically, I panic and create a bunch of bullshit that nobody thinks is funny but me.

So I really don’t understand what would possess someone to commit themselves to posting something on their blog EVERY DAY for 30 DAYS.  That is absolutely insane. It is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.  Anyone who does it is clearly some kind of masochistic nutbar.

Which is exactly why I MUST DO IT.

Meet the newest member of NaBloPoMo. 

I don’t know why I have this compulsion to do this, it’s not like I don’t already have enough on my plate with the full-time job and full-time toddler and freelance work and dirty house and dirty laundry and dirty hair and addiction to Tivo.  It’s entirely likely that this next month will see some truly bizarre posts.  It’s certainly possible that I will alienate and offend many, and bore others to tears.  But still, on some sick level I’m quite looking forward to seeing what weirdness I end up producing out of pure desperation. The possibilities are endless.

So far, so good… I already posted Halloween pictures of my little duck on Saturday, and yesterday I wrote about my awesome mammogram, and this lame series of paragraphs will count as today’s post — so that leaves just 27 to go.  From now until November 30th, you will find something new on this blog every single day.  That includes Thanksgiving, which will be interesting, since we’ll be on the road to San Diego. 

But I’m not deterred.  I’m gonna do it.  I really am.  The gloves are off, people.

No, really.

This should be interesting. 

Or not.

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25 Responses to “I Really Don’t Know Why I’m Doing This”

  1. Let’s get together for a cross-country, simultaneous drink binge one of these NaBloMe nights and see what kind of posts we come up with. I have a feeling that’s the only way I’m gonna come up with anything original. We could even synch our watches and make it a Blogosphere Event.

    The PRESSURE!!

    But I’m with you. It MUST be done.

    mommypies last blog post..Bad manners and inappropriate behavior involving creepy PBS characters.

  2. I knew we’d get you…sooner or later. It would happen. It had to happen. And trying to keep this up every day is nowhere near as annoying as typing out NaBloPoMo! Uhg! I end up having to backspace over my typos about ten times before it comes out right.

    NanoBloMo

    NoBlaMoMe

    NaMoBloMe

    NaNaBleMi

    You get where I’m going with this.

    Good luck. And may the force be with you. Or something like that.

    Audss last blog post..Sunday Surfing

  3. OH NO. You are going to try and suck me into this, aren’t you? Do you realize that you are talking SATURDAY AND SUNDAYS too?!?!?!

    Now that’s WORK.

    Wishing you lots of luck and creative brain juices!!

  4. I did this last year. It was the worst month of my life.

    HAVE FUN! ;)

    maggie, dammits last blog post..Domestic Violence blog update; final contenders announced – please vote!

  5. Welcome to my world!

    Anastasias last blog post..Sexy Youth

  6. I’m one of your favorite blog writers?!?

    What an honor!!!

  7. I cannot tell you how excited I am that you are doing this. New Bejewell posts EVERY DAY for the next 27 days? WOO HOO!

    WaltzInExiles last blog post..Pilferage

  8. What’s gonna happen if you slip up and miss a day or two? Or for that matter what’s gonna happen if you write one every single day. Do we win a big prize? Say, like $500.00??? In that case, I’m in.

    Yahoo…tomorrow is the end of the stupid election !!!!!

    Lorrenes last blog post..Beauty Shop Business

  9. When this month comes around, I face it with equal parts dread and pleasure. Dread because, sister, by that 30th day, people are posting about cat puke. In minute, excruciating detail. And it’s not even funny. I mean, hello? Cat puke can be the height of fucking hilarity if you play it right. But I digress.

    Pleasure because there are people whose stuff I love to read and who’d write about cat puke in a way that would make me almost want a puking cat just for the lulz of it, and those people will post something new every. single. day. for an ENTIRE MONTH!

    You? Fall in that latter category. Except please don’t feel compelled to write about cat puke. I kind of have PTSD from last year’s NaBloPoMo rounds of hurling felines.

    Stephs last blog post..Pork Chops and Apples

  10. Um, I wrote about banana bread and underpants today. If there wasn’t already a case for why I shouldn’t do NaBloPoMo, today’s post would definitely be it.

    BRING THE THUNDER, Beej!

  11. Yeah – I just don’t think I can do it. Four to five posts per week is a real stretch for me.

    Here are some ideas to make it bearable:
    -You write fairly long posts – so break them up in to “to be continued” parts
    -Embrace Wordless Wednesday
    -Post recipes that you find in cookbooks (obviously pretending that they are your own creations that you want to share with the masses)
    -Have giveaways (made today a breeze for me)
    -Tomorrow is a no brainer: short “everyone should go vote” post
    -Post excepts from from other blogs with commentaries on how fabulous they are (I did this once and ended up with a rather impressive Mormon following)

    Possibly not in the spirit of things. But as someone whith three kids, a full time job and an inability to write anything that wouldn’t be described as “rambling,” I understand how challenging this would be.

    You’re a better woman than me… Good luck!

  12. I once tried that write a novel in month thing (NaNo something or other). It didn’t go well. I’m sure it will go way better for you. Way, way better. And as a bonus to me I get to read you everyday. Every Day. EVERY DAY. E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y! Good luck! Can’t wait till tomorrow!

  13. I feel like a complete idiot every time I type NaBloPoMo. I have to sit there and recite the damn title in my head. I’m smart like that.

    The BDs last blog post..It’s Monday, November 3, 2008

  14. Yay! I’m way thrilled to be the “very” too.

    The BDs last blog post..It’s Monday, November 3, 2008

  15. You forgot that you are going to have to get ready for the holidays this month. Or at least Thanksgiving. So add that to your To-Do List. I was going to try and do this post a day thing, but A) no one reads my blog, B)if anyone does read my blog, it probably isn’t that entertaining and C)I am too lazy to write decent stuff a couple of times a week! Good Luck!

    Janahs last blog post..Trick-or-Treat

  16. better woman than I

    flutters last blog post..In love

  17. I took the plunge, too. I think I’m going to regret it. lol

    dysfunctional moms last blog post..My Kids’ Halloween

  18. Yeah! Another NaBloPoMo-er! NaBloPoMo-ite? Hmm. Yeah, I’m doing this too, although the rules elude me. Can I just a one-word post? Does that count? I get the feeling there’s some minimum or something. Not sure.

    Good luck! We’re all in this together…

    goodfathers last blog post..No revisions

  19. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    Everyone please STOP THE MADNESS!

    I am never gunna keep up now. I am just gunna blow up my feedreader and be done with it.

    I will miss you.

  20. Good for you. Even better for us.

    rockzees last blog post..Pat pat

  21. Not ‘gonna do it. No, no you can’t make me. But looking forward to reading what will come out of your head. You’ll be in SD for Thanksgiving? That’s my hood! I’ll wave to you from the 5 as you go by.

    Melanie @ MelADramatic Mommys last blog post..In the Blink of An Eye

  22. Beej – You can totally do it! Your posts are funny no matter what subject you decide to write about. It seems crazy to do it every day but you’d be surprised how it helps with your writing goals.

    I started my blog on June 17 and promised to post every day for a YEAR (hence the name of my blog) and so far, I’ve been able to do it. It’s been a pain in the ass sometimes but it’s had some really good up sides.

    Good luck. :)

    Anastasias last blog post..Living The American Dream

  23. Yeah, my Hubby’s annual conference is called NAMBA (North American Marine Bankers Association) and all I can think of is the man-boy love thingie.

    Trenches of Mommyhoods last blog post..Wii Need Your Help

  24. This is gonna get good – I have no doubt. Looking forward to one a day. More power to you, I could never do it, unless I just posted a picture every day.

    Kailas last blog post..A Brand New Day

  25. good good…this publish warrants nothing :( …hahaha just joking :P …nice post :P

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