- I want to kill AT&T. Over the past two days the Big Bean and I have spent well over 8 hours on the phone with a total of 19 people (so far) and our shit’s STILL not fixed.
- REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM
- There’s a guy in my office who smiles ALL THE TIME. I don’t know if he’s really that happy or just high. On days when I’m feeling pissy I take the long way around the building to avoid him.
- It IS possible to be too happy.
- Tiny things are funny. You can take pretty much anything, make it tiny, and I will find it hilarious.
- There’s a new sign up in our bathroom at work, all about washing your hands. It says “WASH YOUR HANDS” and then gives explicit instructions for washing your hands, with illustrations. My first reaction to this was “Seriously? There are people here who DON’T KNOW how to wash their hands? FUCKING IDIOTS!”
Then I took a closer look and realized that I’ve been doing it wrong this whole time.
Now I’m constantly worried that there’s going to be a test.
- When my husband has a visible booger (which is a lot more often than you might expect), I never just tell him “You have a booger.” I always find a way to work it into the conversation. I’ve apparently been doing this for years without even realizing it. Example: Today we were discussing a series of Elmo’s World videos to take on the plane and I said: “You know, I bet there’s not a single episode of Elmo’s World about people with boogers hanging out of their noses.” Another example: The other day he was telling me about someone he knows and mid-conversation I asked, “Did she happen to mention how gross it is when people walk around with huge boogers hanging out of their noses?”
- I still fucking hate you, Elmo, you little red bastard.
- I made it through about half of today, an off-site lunch, and at least two meetings with my fly open.
- I have chosen to believe that my little bee friend lives on, in a much better place than where he started. After all, my office complex parking lot really sucks, and I *ahem* “dropped” him off at a very nice park, so I’m pretty sure I did him a favor.
- My cats are trying to kill me. Not in a vicious-mountain-cat-bite-your-face-off way, but in a whiny-house-cat-torture-you-with-annoying-habits way. They want in, they want out. They want in, they want out. They squawk like they’re dying to come in, so we let them in, then a minute later they squawk like they’re dying to go out. When they’re not squawking, they’re peeing. On my stuff.
It’s just another threat to my sanity that I’m really not sure I can sustain.
- Speaking of my sanity (or lack thereof), I suffer from gephyrophobia, which means I’m afraid of bridges. I have recurring nightmares about flying off of unfinished ones. I don’t like crossing them, and I don’t like traveling under them.
I do, however, enjoy burning the hell out of one every now and then.
- I’m only 19 on Mars. For some reason I have totally fixated on this. I never really cared about Mars before but now I totally want to go.
- Wearing a bandana on your head like this automatically cancels out anything else you might have going for you, like pretty eyes or amazing abs (notice I did not mention acting talent). It just makes you a douche bag.
- I spent a total of four hours on the phone today with either a phone rep from AT&T or their hold music. I spent a total of twenty minutes writing this post. I think that says something really awful about both AT&T’s Customer Service AND this post.
Stumble it!
Tags: AT&T SUCKS, matthew mcconnaughey is a douche bag, shitty posts, weird rambling
November 25th, 2008 at 10:32 pm
hehehe….this really made me laugh. Sorry that it’s at your expense. I love the redrumredrum line. Phone and cable companies just suck. ugh.
November 25th, 2008 at 10:40 pm
Did you know that I’m gephyrophobic too? Small world.
November 25th, 2008 at 10:52 pm
Don’t expect fantastic weather here! But it has made it cozy. Coco weather. Anyway have a fab holiday! Will you be on hiatous until you get back?
Janahs last blog post..One of Those Days
November 25th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
nevermind, I’m an idiot. nablopomo.
Janahs last blog post..One of Those Days
November 25th, 2008 at 11:38 pm
I peed myself a little at the hand washing. That’s some funny shit.
shondas last blog post..Shameless Self-Promotion Contest….
November 26th, 2008 at 12:17 am
This post is genius. I can’t decide if I think that because it IS pure genius, or because your writing reminds me of my own, only smarter and with better grammar. Either way, I love it. Not in a I-love-it-so-much-I’m-not-going-to-sleep-tonight kind of way, but still.
And I’m totally convinced my cats are going to outlive me, and then come meow on my grave. I’m getting a cylindrical coffin to aid with the spinning.
goodfathers last blog post..Sisters
November 26th, 2008 at 12:39 am
okay, the bandana thing was just hilarious.
Rachaels last blog post..Heads or Tails: All About My Hands
November 26th, 2008 at 1:32 am
Honestly, what is it with cats? Mine is trying to trip & maybe break my OTHER ankle as I walk through the house…
Lynettes last blog post..I need my fix
November 26th, 2008 at 9:29 am
Um, I lost my train of thought after I saw the abs..Ill get back to you on this one..
November 26th, 2008 at 10:27 am
About the AT&T thing? Been there. Done that. You have my sympathy…
Zs last blog post..Wannabe bike ninjas
November 26th, 2008 at 10:41 am
Did you know I did not know gephyrophobic was a word? VERY small world.
Great post!
Jimh.s last blog post..Teaching Post That May Bore Most Humans
November 26th, 2008 at 11:30 am
I always think I am washing my hands the right way until I see one of those signs too, then I get all anxious that I will get the bird flu or something because of my poo washing skills.
November 26th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Every nightmare I have involves a bridge. HATE going over bridges.
I’d rather work with someone who smiles all the time than someone who is constantly muttering under their breath 24/7. It is sooooo annoying.
Kailas last blog post..Of hairy boogers and good books
November 27th, 2008 at 1:00 am
Dear lord, Beej! When my booger-sportin’ husband is sportin’ a booger, I inform him THE VERY SAME WAY YOU DO!! Except we don’t talk about Elmo here anymore, because the boys have grown out of him. Instead, I often reference WWE wrestlers, as in “Did you see that giant booger go flying out of Triple H’s nose when he threw Jon Cena over the edge of the ring?”
Totally cool!
foradifferentkindofgirl (FADKOG)s last blog post..pleased to meet you. hope you eat my eggs.
November 30th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Today, as we were driving home from lunch, I spent the ENTIRE HALF HOUR visualizing what i would do if I were driving a car by myself with Miles in the back and a bridge collapsed and sent us plummeting into the icy depths (because of course it would happen during winter. at night. over a VERY LARGE RIVER) and how i would respond and what would I do if I had TWO or MORE kids to rescue? and i envisioned many scenes in which a) I heroically rescued all of use or b) we all tragically died, sometimes with me just crawling into the backseat to hold their hands as we all perished in the cold cruel water together, our limp, drowned bodies recovered together in a tangle, much as the poor residents of Pompeii were found huddled over their children in a vain attempt to protect them from the molten hot magma and ash.).
And also I thought how i need to get one of those hammer-things that break the windows because on Myth-busters that was the ONLY THING that really worked well.
~ms last blog post..Sunday Edition, Konglish style
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