Soon after my post went up, my psycho stalker readers devoted students started leaving their comments, totally blowing smoke up my ass expressing their appreciation and displaying the new knowledge they had gained from my class. Suck ups.
Comment #3 came from Kristine over at Mommy Needs Therapy, and it said this:
Ok, this post couldn’t be more fucking appropriate!
If you could be just a bit bothered, and check out my blog, I have a little something there for you. *blush*
Why do I feel like a freshman girl sucking up to the senior head cheerleader?
Now, being the TOTAL COMMENT WHORE that I am, I was keeping a watchful eye over my post, and as soon as I saw Kristine’s comment I clicked over. It sounded like there might be something in it for me, after all, and I’m a selfish, greedy bitch very curious young lady.
So of course I clicked over right away and this is what I saw:
I’m not gonna lie. I was a little confused. Not really sure why she would want to show me a picture of a cat’s ass painted like a little gentleman. What was she trying to tell me? Was she calling me a cat’s ass? Was she calling me a little gentleman with a bowler hat? Was there some kind of hidden code in her message? WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON?
About that time, we had a *small* incident in (well, really, OUT of) the house, when somebody who shall remain nameless (but whose name is spelled B-E-A-N) decided to crawl out of the doggie door (again) and explore the backyard on his own, so Kristine and her cat’s ass were quickly forgotten while I went to “take control” (ha!) of the situation.
But the cat’s ass was not forgotten completely because later, after the somebody-who-shall-remain-nameless was rescued from imminent danger (and was, I might add, surprisingly unappreciative of my heroic efforts), I started thinking about it again, and I said to myself, “Self, that was fucking WEIRD” and I decided to go back and check and see if maybe I missed something.
So I did, and wouldn’t you know it, Kristine had actually published THIS post, which I guess is the post she meant to send me to all along, but she left her comment before she actually published the post and I, being the selfish, greedy bitch curious young lady that I am, just blazed right on over to her blog before she even got a chance to put the real thing up.
But now it all makes sense.
And the REAL point of this painfully long story is: I got an award!
I would like to thank the Academy, and of course my family and friends, who have always stood by me and supported me, even when times were tough. And I’d also like to thank my team of attorneys, agents, and hairdressers – if I actually had any. And of course I can’t forget my FANS – because everything I do, I do it for you, the little people!
You have to pick 5 blogs that you consider deserve this award for their creativity, design, interesting material, and also for contributing to the blogging community, no matter what language.
Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.
Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.
Award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of Arte y Pico blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.
It’s a lot of rules, sure. But I’ve never won an award before so I’m totally willing to jump through hoops. (But just this once.)
So here are the five blogs I pick to pass on this esteemed honor:
- Auds at Barking Mad.
She’s my homey! And she’s married to a Brit, and says funny things like “that gets on my tits” and “bollocks.” And she uses the word “whilst.” And she loves me even though she used to be a radio host, and I totally dissed radio hosts in one of my posts, when I called them “the fingernails on the chalkboard of my life.” (We just don’t talk about it.) She also has an adorable little Imp, and a stunningly beautiful daughter named Megawatt, whose addiction to Red Bulls and Mountain Dew recently landed her in the hospital with a monster ulcer. And also? Her blog is Fucking Awesome.
- Alias Mother.
Can I get some Alias love in da hooooouuusse? She’s totally sarcastic, always funny and lets her daughter chew on rocks. And she tosses bathtub letters at her baby and laughs when they stick. Plus, she managed to make me feel better about my soft post-baby belly, and no one else has been able to do that. (Still not comfortable wearing a bathing suit in public, though. She’s not a miracle worker.)
- Texas Jewels at Thinking Out Loud.
The only blogger I know. No, I mean really. She’s the only blogger I personally, actually KNOW. In person. And I got her into this whole blogging mess, because I read something she wrote on MySpace when I was just checking in to see how she was doing, and she had written this amazing piece, and I was like, “What the fuck?” so I wrote her and told her “Start a blog right fucking now,” and she did, so now I can go to her blog anytime I want to and read about her life and her thoughts and her new boyfriend with a bad rug, and I can think, “I am TOTALLY responsible for this.” And I love taking credit for things that are Fucking Awesome.
- The Benevolent Dictator.
I have already given her the award for Best Blog Name Ever. But I also think she’s smart, funny, and an excellent writer. Hers was the first blog I ever looked at and thought, “I really want to do that.” Her posts are always interesting. AND she’s a bonehead. Plus, she calls her kids the Bear, the Llama and the Bee, and anyone who does that is okay in my book.
- ~m at Dreams, You Got It, Happy.
She was one of the first people to ever leave a comment on my blog. And she hates Fourth of July fireworks people as much as I do. And she’s lived, like, everywhere. And well, I just LIKE her. I always like to check in and see how she’s doing with Miles, who is an adorable baby but refuses to sleep through the night, even now. And I feel for her, but also enjoy the fact that (a) it’s not me and (b) she’s able to keep her sense of humor about it and (c) she’s obviously an incredible mom.
So congratulations, ladies. Drag those old bridesmaids gowns out of the closet for a triumphant walk down the red carpet. And start writing your acceptance speeches now. I can’t wait to read them!Stumble it!