Bejewell on July 17th, 2009

So I was reading this BlogHer article today about this big blog movement that’s got a bunch of bloggers’ panties all twisted in knots and stirred up some big debate about product reviews and press releases and giveaways and PR people and blog integrity and all kinds of other shit that doesn’t affect me at all because

  1. I think it’s pretty clear that I’m a little confused when it comes to integrity, and
  2. I’ve never actually DONE a product review, NOR received a pitch from a PR person, possibly because of all my F-bombs have scared them away but probably because none of them read or give a shit about my blog, and
  3. The only two giveaways I’ve ever done went to the people who helped me solve the mysteries of (a) where I left my goddamned keys and (b) the gross, booger-like substance on my desk.  I think it’s safe to say I’m not exactly what you’d call a “pro.”

Anyway, I read that article and the big debate in the comments section and I left some comment about Hugh Jackman (which really had nothing to do with anything) and clicked away, but ever since then I’ve been thinking about product reviews and you know what?  They sound like fun and a good way to get free shit.  I don’t know why I’ve never dipped my toe into that pool.  I mean, it’s not like I NEED some PR person to start the ball rolling – I can write my OWN reviews, about things I like, and they’ll be so kick-ass that word will immediately get out and the PR people (who sound very mysterious and enchanting to me) will all come running from the woodwork and BEG me to let them send me free shit to review and promote to my MASSIVE audience, which I’ll happily accept and write glowing reviews because again — Integrity?  Huh?  Wha? 

So below is The Bean’s first-ever Blog Product Review entry.  I have chosen seven items that I feel very strongly about to review, for this special first edition.  I hope you enjoy them.

Given the debate currently swirling around the Blogosphere about all of this, I think it’s important to note here that NO ONE HAS PAID ME to review these items, nor have any of them been provided to me by anyone in exchange for a positive review.  At least, not yet.

Bejewell’s Product Reviews

  1. Naps. 
    I’m a big fan of naps.
  2. Puddles. 
    Puddles are fun to splash in.
  3. Traffic.
    I don’t like it.
  4. Sunglasses.
    Without them, we would all be squinty.
  5. Cats. 
    Fat, lazy ones are the best.
  6. Eyebrows. 
    I’m really glad I have them, especially when my head is sweaty.
  7. Money.
    I like money.  It’s a good thing to have.  I wish I had more of it. 

 I think that about sums it up.  If any of you PR people out there like what you’ve read here, (1) Hi! and (2) Feel free to send me some free shit and I’ll be happy to write another kick-ass review.  I’m not boycotting you or anyone else next month.


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18 Responses to “Product Reviews: Bejewell Style”

  1. I am so fucking provoked right now.

    Alright. Maybe not so much provoked as just totally annoyed by this whole “controversy.” I would much rather come over here and hear all about your love of fat, lazy cats and eyebrows.

    I mean, they ARE pretty cool.

    p.s. You inspire me to swear more on my blog. I’ll try it out next week.

  2. I spent many years in PR (and can assure you that it is neither mysterious or enchanting!) and I firmly concur with your product endorsements! An insightful look at a serious matter! Well done!

  3. Genius. Thanks for much needed levity.

  4. Awesome and your twitter teaser brought me over.

  5. I like the snarkiness of your post. LOL But this whole thing has gotten blown completely out of proportion. And when grown women resort to to verbal attacks on the children of some of the players in this controversy, it has gone way over the line.

    The backlash over an attempt to help a group of bloggers alleviate their bloggy burn out & pressure from PR, readers, etc. is ridiculous. We are being slammed for having a button. And for the name. And for saying it’s a vacation. And for anything else we say to try and defend ourselves. And semantics. And then our words are twisted, taken out of context and made to mean something other than the original intent.

    When all requests for fact checking and a cessation of propagating inaccuracies & half-truths are ignored, it devolves into a hate fest.

    I have now lost all hope of women as a whole ever disproving the long held belief that they are anything other than whiny, gossipy hate filled bitches.

    It’s the mean girls from High School: BlogHer Edition. And this time they have sponsors!

  6. I really don’t get the whining. If you don’t want to do it, don’t.

    The above commenter referenced mean girls in high school which made me think that it is like the cheerleaders complaining that they have too many dates. Shut up bitches!

    I do a product review every month or two (compensated by receiving the product usually valued at $2.59 and a $20 Amazon card) just for the fun of it and so that I can buy stuff on Amazon. I talk about other products just because I like or hate them and no one pays me to do so. The only PR pitch I ever got was for Epson Salts. Since I don’t know what they are exactly, I passed. So I don’t have a lot of sympathy for peeps getting too many offers.

  7. Damn it! Why do I always miss out on the fricking drama?! I must not nose around the blogosphere enough because I have no idea what the fuck you are talking about. But that’s cool. Sometimes, living in my little bubble is fun. We have rainbows everyday, a buffet table of snacks, we have pushed Nap product profusely. It’s a very comfy place. And we laugh a lot. And yell a lot too.

    Same goes for when I heard about all these “hate” blogs where more “popular” bloggers capped on other bloggers. Again…I must have stayed in my bubble that day.

    Hey the next time someone contacts you about a Money Review, could you send them my email. I might be interested in that one.

  8. BEST product review EVER! :)

  9. FINALLY some integrity in the blogosphere.

    You’re right! Traffic sucks and I don’t like it either. I really appreciate your candor and hope you’ll continue doing reviews. The blog world needs more honest voices like your own.

  10. First, I love, love this post! And will be subscribing to your blog. You really should start doing reviews!

    I’ve said this on other blogs but I think it bears repeating… I think the whining about being so stressed out and burned out is giving “mommy” bloggers a bad rep.

    Do you hear about tech/gadget bloggers, entertainment bloggers and social media bloggers, for example, staging mass blackouts? NO. They are not banding together to take the same week off because they can’t handle the stresses that blogging entail.

    It just makes it look like moms can’t handle it. I know we all get stressed out from time to time. Just being a mom can be overwhelming, and we all need breaks from time to time. Which, btw, is another thing… if they are SO burned out – one week will not fix their problem. And how many companies do you know, where everyone takes the same week off for vacation? If they did it would be considered a “walk-out” or “strike”.

    I guess the reason I’ve left so many comments on this topic is that I am a mom who blogs and I do not want to be thought of as a weak whiny mommy blogger who can’t say no and make my own decisions.

    I love mommy bloggers and read more than a dozen of great mom blogs every day. I don’t mind reviews/giveaways, but frequent more blogs that inform and/or entertain.

  11. “Oh poor me. I do a million things at once. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, I want you to worship me, for I am super mommy.”

    These women were those annoying cheerleader types in high school, too. Don’t they realize that the rest of us are not impressed, no one wants to be them and they aren’t fooling anyone?

    I suppose not. Just another example of how people can never be happy, I guess.

  12. Awesome product reviews!!! You should totally make it a weekly feature!!

  13. I’m suspicious that someone has been sending you free naps. I DON’T TRUST YOU AND YOUR REVIEWS.

    I, also, like naps.

    Can I have some free naps now?

  14. Normally I am all over the blog drama, because I love me some petty girl-on-girl action, but somehow I missed this one. This damn fetus that is sucking the life out of me to the point where I can’t even watch . I also enjoy all these commenters that are still continuing their fight. OVER HERE. On a blog post reviewing naps. People, step away from the magic box and go find your lives.

    Also, please find another analogy to the internet other than high school. Isn’t that horse dead and beaten enough? Aye.

    Beej: I agree with you on all points except, perhaps, puddles. Which are fun to splash in, but then your pants get wet and there are few things I hate more than the feeling of wet pant hems. So I’d have to give them only three stars.

  15. Point #1 made this worth a read. I’m afraid to read the review drama thing.

  16. I don’t comment too much but your review is SPOT ON!
    I must concur that all those listed are fabulous things except I think reviewing a few cocktails by a pool is needed….
    Your in Texas like me and I know the heat can get to you SO a cocktail is most needed.

    Thank you for your insight and I look forward to clicking on the sponsors you will be getting out of this blog!

  17. And now I’m thinking about eyebrows and how really quite happy I have them because without them I would have to wear terrycloth headbands when running and that would kind of suck. How do the people that have plucked their eyebrows into infinity exercise? Or don’t they. I’m confunded.

  18. Umm – like many product reviews out there your comments lack detail. What sort of puddles do you like splashing in – how deep are they, are muddy puddles more fun etc etc

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