13
Years the Big Bean and I have been married, as of today
5
Years we were together before we got married, more or less
19
My age when we first met
161
My age now (in dog years)
127
Guests at our wedding, if you count the guy in the tuxedo t-shirt, the old person in the wheelchair whose gender could not be discerned, and the very sparkly Philippine hooker our neighbor brought as his date
9
Gallons of champagne I consumed that night
7
Times I slid off my barstool and had to be picked up off the floor at the piano bar after the reception
1
Plastic shark toy given to us by a drunk dude on Sixth Street to congratulate us on our nuptials
12
Christmases (so far) said plastic shark toy has occupied a space on our Christmas tree
25
My age on my birthday when the Big Bean told me he’d rather be playing golf than hanging out with me because I was so moody
150
Years it will be before I ever forget that he said that
3
Tango lessons we actually completed before realizing we just inherently SUCK at ballroom dancing and bailed to avoid further embarrassment
6
Times we’ve abandoned a half-full grocery cart because we got into a fight while shopping, later dubbing ourselves “The Grocery Store Bandits”
18,897
Times we’ve had some variation of the “What do you want for dinner?” “I don’t know, what do YOU want for dinner?” conversation
77
Times I’ve slammed the door
56
Times I’ve hung up on him
1,231
Times he’s accused me of “overreacting”
0
Times that argument has worked
2
Times I’ve woken up to find him standing over me with a pillow in his hand (which he swears was a coincidence)
148
Different ways I’ve found to tell him he’s got a visible booger, so far
179
Times we’ve driven past a cemetery and I’ve said, “I hear people are just DYING to get in there – har har har”
1
Time he actually thought that was funny
14
Times I’ve been told by other women that my husband is “sexy”
2
Times I’ve actually told him about another woman saying he’s “sexy”
55
Times I’ve thought to myself, “Damn, he really IS sexy”
44
Times he’s farted loudly just after I thought that
1,523
Times people asked us WHEN we were EVER going to have kids, before we had one
1,523
Times we answered, “Never say never, but probably never”
8
Years of marriage it took before he was ready
10
Years of marriage it took before I was ready
1
Trip to Paris it took to finally convince me
1
Time it took us to conceive
20
Minutes we spent speechless, staring alternately at each other and the floor, in total disbelief after we realized I was pregnant so soon
4
Neighboring counties that could hear the screams of my grandmother when we told her we were having a baby
996,954
Times he’s made me laugh out loud
48
Times he’s made me snort some kind of drink out my nose
58
Times he’s gotten me with a really good “That’s what she said”
45
Times I’ve scared him out of his skin by honking my horn at him while he was in the garage
45
Times he’s gotten totally pissed off at me for doing that
45
Times I’ve collapsed in a fit of hysterical laughter while he raged at me
37
Times we’ve danced around the house in our underwear to 80s music
1,923
Times I’ve thought to myself, “I really do absolutely LOVE this man, despite all his bullshit”
45
Times I’ve wondered, “How the hell does this man put up with all my bullshit?”
1
Perfect, amazing, gorgeous, beautiful Bean we have to show for putting up with all of each other’s bullshit
1,000
More years I hope we can manage putting up with each other’s bullshit
Happy anniversary, babe. I surely do love you.
Stumble it!
Tags: happy anniversary babe, I've only wanted to kill him once today (so far)
November 16th, 2009 at 10:31 am
what a great anniversary post. happy 13 years!
November 16th, 2009 at 10:50 am
Happy Anniversary!!
This one, is my Hubs: 44-Times he’s farted loudly just after I thought that.
He does that the instant he walks in the door… everyday, he’s thoughtful that way.
November 16th, 2009 at 11:46 am
That was pretty cool. Happy Anniversary! And of course to many, many more!
November 16th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
love this. happy anniversary! in celebration i slept in and skipped my movement class. i LOVE anniversaries!
November 16th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
You do crack me up, Beej. I’ve yet to be disappointed by one of your posts. Happy anniversary to you and the Big Bean. And yes, your little bean sure is downright gorgeous.
November 16th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
You sweet things! Happy, happy anniversary! It’s pretty amazing to think there’s someone in the world who will put up with us, huh? I say that as a wife married to someone for 15 years who last Monday had to find EIGHT ways in the span of six minutes to tell him he had a visible catch and release issue going on in his nose while we waited at conferences to talk to our son’s teachers. Who says romance has to shrivel up and fade away, eh?
November 16th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
Happy Anniversary! Oh, and the Cemetery? “That’s the last place I’ll ever go!”
November 16th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
Congratulations and thanks for a post that hits home; however, I don’t think I will let Mateo read it because I almost have him convinced that he is the only one left in the world who still says, “that’s what she said!”
November 16th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
2
times I re-read this to get some good ideas
(flattery is the sincerest form of copying, afterall)
Happy Anniversary!
November 16th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
genius. pure unadulterated genius. great write. great partnership. congratulations. i know it’s not as easy as it looks. and it looks really freakin hard .
(that’s what she said)
November 16th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
Happy Anniversary!
I have to admit, I still enjoy a well-placed ‘that’s what she said’ line, especially when I’m at church and some straight-laced naive dude is lecturing a room full of teenagers on playing with their balls in the chapel (when referring to basketballs).
November 16th, 2009 at 11:57 pm
Congratulations!!!!!!!! This post is one of my favorites.
November 17th, 2009 at 5:27 am
If I did anything like that I think MPS would smother me in my sleep.
Cause mine would NOT be flattering.
Yours, on the other hand, freaking awesome.
happy anniversary!
November 17th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
That was really, truly, deeply awesome.
Your hubby is lucky to have you, obviously.
November 17th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
GRAAAAAAAAAAAR it ate my comment! NOOOOOOOO!!
Well, it was all mushy and sweet, but the point is, this post is full of WIN. Do you mind if I copy it? I’m doing NaBloPoMo and need some variations on “this is what my kid did, here is a picture of my kid, blah blah blah.”
And by copy, I mean emulate, not ctrl+c.
November 17th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Beej, I have been voyeurnaling for ten years now and it never occurred to me to do this in this fashion. Jelliz.
It really is gorgeous.
November 18th, 2009 at 11:13 am
2 Things: I’m pretty sure that Philippine hooker was at my wedding too. And I like food way too much to leave it at the store.
November 18th, 2009 at 11:51 am
Happy Happy Anniversary! Love the list!
November 19th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Happy Anniversary!
December 28th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Wow – that was incredibly amusing and touching! I laughed out loud so many times! Happy late Anniversary!