Bejewell on November 16th, 2009

13
Years the Big Bean and I have been married, as of today

Closing things down

 5
Years we were together before we got married, more or less

19
My age when we first met

161
My age now (in dog years)

127
Guests at our wedding, if you count the guy in the tuxedo t-shirt, the old person in the wheelchair whose gender could not be discerned, and the very sparkly Philippine hooker our neighbor brought as his date

 9
Gallons of champagne I consumed that night

7
Times I slid off my barstool and had to be picked up off the floor at the piano bar after the reception

1
Plastic shark toy given to us by a drunk dude on Sixth Street to congratulate us on our nuptials

12
Christmases (so far) said plastic shark toy has occupied a space on our Christmas tree

25
My age on my birthday when the Big Bean told me he’d rather be playing golf than hanging out with me because I was so moody

150
Years it will be before I ever forget that he said that

3
Tango lessons we actually completed before realizing we just inherently SUCK at ballroom dancing and bailed to avoid further embarrassment

6
Times we’ve abandoned a half-full grocery cart because we got into a fight while shopping, later dubbing ourselves “The Grocery Store Bandits”

 18,897
Times we’ve had some variation of the “What do you want for dinner?” “I don’t know, what do YOU want for dinner?” conversation

77
Times I’ve slammed the door

56
Times I’ve hung up on him

1,231
Times he’s accused me of “overreacting”

0
Times that argument has worked

2
Times I’ve woken up to find him standing over me with a pillow in his hand (which he swears was a coincidence)

148
Different ways I’ve found to tell him he’s got a visible booger, so far

179
Times we’ve driven past a cemetery and I’ve said, “I hear people are just DYING to get in there – har har har”

1
Time he actually thought that was funny

14
Times I’ve been told by other women that my husband is “sexy”

2
Times I’ve actually told him about another woman saying he’s “sexy”

55
Times I’ve thought to myself, “Damn, he really IS sexy”

44
Times he’s farted loudly just after I thought that

1,523
Times people asked us WHEN we were EVER going to have kids, before we had one

1,523
Times we answered, “Never say never, but probably never”

8
Years of marriage it took before he was ready

10
Years of marriage it took before I was ready

1
Trip to Paris it took to finally convince me

1
Time it took us to conceive

20
Minutes we spent speechless, staring alternately at each other and the floor, in total disbelief after we realized I was pregnant so soon

4
Neighboring counties that could hear the screams of my grandmother when we told her we were having a baby

996,954
Times he’s made me laugh out loud

48
Times he’s made me snort some kind of drink out my nose

58
Times he’s gotten me with a really good “That’s what she said”

45
Times I’ve scared him out of his skin by honking my horn at him while he was in the garage

45
Times he’s gotten totally pissed off at me for doing that

45
Times I’ve collapsed in a fit of hysterical laughter while he raged at me

37
Times we’ve danced around the house in our underwear to 80s music

1,923
Times I’ve thought to myself, “I really do absolutely LOVE this man, despite all his bullshit”

45
Times I’ve wondered, “How the hell does this man put up with all my bullshit?”

1
Perfect, amazing, gorgeous, beautiful Bean we have to show for putting up with all of each other’s bullshit

ganders 

1,000
More years I hope we can manage putting up with each other’s bullshit

 

Happy anniversary, babe.  I surely do love you.

beej

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20 Responses to “Our Anniversary, By the Numbers”

  1. what a great anniversary post. happy 13 years!

  2. Happy Anniversary!!

    This one, is my Hubs: 44-Times he’s farted loudly just after I thought that.
    He does that the instant he walks in the door… everyday, he’s thoughtful that way.

  3. That was pretty cool. Happy Anniversary! And of course to many, many more!

  4. love this. happy anniversary! in celebration i slept in and skipped my movement class. i LOVE anniversaries!

  5. You do crack me up, Beej. I’ve yet to be disappointed by one of your posts. Happy anniversary to you and the Big Bean. And yes, your little bean sure is downright gorgeous.

  6. You sweet things! Happy, happy anniversary! It’s pretty amazing to think there’s someone in the world who will put up with us, huh? I say that as a wife married to someone for 15 years who last Monday had to find EIGHT ways in the span of six minutes to tell him he had a visible catch and release issue going on in his nose while we waited at conferences to talk to our son’s teachers. Who says romance has to shrivel up and fade away, eh?

  7. Happy Anniversary! Oh, and the Cemetery? “That’s the last place I’ll ever go!”

  8. Congratulations and thanks for a post that hits home; however, I don’t think I will let Mateo read it because I almost have him convinced that he is the only one left in the world who still says, “that’s what she said!”

  9. 2

    times I re-read this to get some good ideas
    (flattery is the sincerest form of copying, afterall)

    Happy Anniversary!

  10. genius. pure unadulterated genius. great write. great partnership. congratulations. i know it’s not as easy as it looks. and it looks really freakin hard .

    (that’s what she said)

  11. Happy Anniversary!

    I have to admit, I still enjoy a well-placed ‘that’s what she said’ line, especially when I’m at church and some straight-laced naive dude is lecturing a room full of teenagers on playing with their balls in the chapel (when referring to basketballs).

  12. Congratulations!!!!!!!! This post is one of my favorites.

  13. If I did anything like that I think MPS would smother me in my sleep.

    Cause mine would NOT be flattering.

    Yours, on the other hand, freaking awesome.

    happy anniversary!

  14. That was really, truly, deeply awesome. :) Your hubby is lucky to have you, obviously.

  15. GRAAAAAAAAAAAR it ate my comment! NOOOOOOOO!!

    Well, it was all mushy and sweet, but the point is, this post is full of WIN. Do you mind if I copy it? I’m doing NaBloPoMo and need some variations on “this is what my kid did, here is a picture of my kid, blah blah blah.”

    And by copy, I mean emulate, not ctrl+c. :)

  16. Beej, I have been voyeurnaling for ten years now and it never occurred to me to do this in this fashion. Jelliz.

    It really is gorgeous.

  17. 2 Things: I’m pretty sure that Philippine hooker was at my wedding too. And I like food way too much to leave it at the store.

  18. Happy Happy Anniversary! Love the list!

  19. Happy Anniversary!

  20. Wow – that was incredibly amusing and touching! I laughed out loud so many times! Happy late Anniversary!

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