This my weiner dog, Napoleon.
Napoleon is awesome.
Napoleon loves my little Bean.
AND my Big Bean.
He loves swimming.
And camping.
And catching food in the air.
Yep. Napoleon is awesome. He’s part of the family.
THIS is Napoleon’s doggie door.
THIS is Napoleon’s favorite place to pee.
- foot of bed
And THIS is Napoleon’s favorite place to poop.
- bathroom floor
And THIS is Napoleon’s OTHER favorite place to poop.
- floor of Bean’s room
Which kind of makes this:
Seem a whole lot less impressive.
And sort of makes us want to do this:
Every now and then, Napoleon burrows his way into the sleeve of the Big Bean’s fleece sweatshirt.
And gets stuck. And has to sit there, helpless, while we laugh and take pictures.
Which makes us love him again.
And reminds us that he IS, after all, part of this crazy, mixed-up family.
(family Christmas card, 2008)
And life goes back to normal.
Which I’m pretty sure was part of his evil plan all along.
Stumble it!
Tags: but if you shit on my floor again heads are gonna roll, I love weiners
April 12th, 2010 at 11:29 pm
I have a cat about that size. She pees and poops where she’s not supposed to too! Pet conspiracy?!
April 13th, 2010 at 7:58 am
I loves me some weiner pooch
April 13th, 2010 at 9:19 am
Snort. And is he laying ON TOP of your cat in that box?!
April 13th, 2010 at 9:31 am
We have a Jack Russel Terror, and we have had similar problems, though he DOES poop outside (Yea Toby!). His thing is to come in early in the morning and burrow under the covers between us. He’s pathetic, but he’s ours.
I love the fact that Napoleon finds himself in too deep with the sleeve…kinda reflects the original in Russia!
April 13th, 2010 at 9:50 am
The poop & pee thing is why I don’t have pets. The kids are enough.
April 13th, 2010 at 10:17 am
If we could have a dog (stupid allergic to dogs child prevents this) I’d totally get a wiener dog. My mom had one forever and I loved her when she wasn’t peeing on things.
PS my kid isn’t stupid. Most of the time. His allergies are though.
I want a wiener dog.
April 13th, 2010 at 11:26 am
THAT post is awesome! You are hilarious!!!
April 13th, 2010 at 1:10 pm
Oh, Napoleon. You need to be friends with my Ella.
April 13th, 2010 at 6:35 pm
Now I want a dog.
Preferably with a colostomy bag.
April 13th, 2010 at 7:31 pm
Sophia will enjoy this immensely — she has fallen in love with Napoleon since the last visit to your house when he tried to lick her face off, and now has declared that our next dog will be just like him!
April 14th, 2010 at 8:41 am
The dog is right, ditch the bedskirt.
April 14th, 2010 at 10:13 am
Does your husband usually SMILE while sleeping? If so, weird. And a bit creepy. More creepy because he has a dog butt in his face. Also, what the hell is that furry thing behind the dog that shits in your house in the last picture? Is that a cat? Or a furry pig? If it’s a cat – I’ve lost a little respect for you. Just a bit. Do something quick so you can earn it back. I’ll wait here.
April 14th, 2010 at 10:17 am
He is so cute! Why do we put up with stubborn dogs? I guess the same reason we put up with stubborn kids. We love ‘em…or we’re crazy.
April 14th, 2010 at 10:17 am
There is an “A” at the end of my name too.
April 14th, 2010 at 7:40 pm
where do you get the “get low” t-shirts? My best friend and her husband are getting a veiner dog and that is the most awesome tee ever. Pls. advise. thanks.
April 19th, 2010 at 11:30 am
I’m a recent fan. Just wanted to say I liked the homless Napoleon in the box better that the jailed Napoleon. I’m sure it was to reiterate that you would give him up under no circumstances, but it was funnier to me the other way. But hey it’s your blog.
April 20th, 2010 at 9:50 pm
This is awesome!
Our dogs should get together and have a piss/shit festival. Maybe they’d get it out of their systems and stop being such eliminatory assholes.
April 21st, 2010 at 5:48 pm
Napoleon, do you like kitties? Would you like possibly three more furry siblings? It appears you get on well with the divas of the animal world. I have three if you are interested. I bet you’d train them up in no time! Of course, maybe Beej wouldn’t think it was so great if they taught you to vomit in retaliation, now would she?
May 6th, 2010 at 6:04 pm
This was so much awesome.
May 19th, 2010 at 4:26 am
He is so cute! Why do we put up with stubborn dogs? I guess the same reason we put up with stubborn kids. We love ‘em…or we’re crazy.
April 4th, 2011 at 11:42 pm
Oh Man this made me howl! I too am owned by a dashie. Mine is fine with the ‘business outside’ unless it is raining. But if raining I can fully expect to find poop near the toilet. I truly believe this is his way of saying FU, you go out in the rain!
April 11th, 2011 at 8:20 pm
Laughed. So hard I attracted the attention of the 10-year-old. Smed and I read it again and laughed, laughed laughed. Cackled, even. Speeded through a couple of the more dog-ownerly kinds of words, but she’s still giggling while she tries to practice her singing. Shit. We’ll never get through this. I have to go back and read it again. Awesome. uh-oh, here comes the 7-year-old . . .
April 14th, 2011 at 4:42 pm
I love the captions. Especially the Christmas stink one! I think I may go through my iphoto library and label up! Great idea for a personalised comic book present.
Ps Napolean is very cute
June 15th, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Napolean is a sweetheart. Your captions are “Right On!”
This was a very entertaining piece. I have a small poodle
who also seems to be aware of his “Cuteness”. Those targets
are a nice touch.