So after much deliberation and one absolutely SPECTACULAR summer break, I’ve decided NOT to kill the blog for good but instead to come back with a fiery vengeance. (And by “fiery vengeance,” I mean “maybe I’ll write a post every now and then, if I happen to remember and don’t have anything better to do.” Let’s keep those expectations low, m’kay?)
I’ve been thinking for a while about what I’d do for my first post back and I have a summer’s worth of ideas about what to write but now that it’s time to actually write something I kind of hate them all. Yeah. This blogging thing is great. Why did I need that break, again?
Anyway, I think I’ll just let you guys decide. Here are your choices.
Possible First-Post-Back Ideas:
- I’m Pretty Sure My Husband Is Trying to Kill Me With His Shoes
- For the Last Time, Twitter, I DO NOT WANT TO FOLLOW YOUR FUCKING CRONIES
- Mickey Mouse Hypnotized Me and Took Away My Free Will
- Our Dog Is Old And Dying But He’s also a Huge Asshole So We’re Okay With That
- Nobody Voted for My Boobs and Now They’re Sore Losers
- Something Smells like Cheetos
- Why I Want to Stab Texas in the Face
- Why I Want to Stab McSweeney’s in the Face
- Why I Want to Stab BlogHer in the Face
- Wow, I Really Want to Stab a Lot of People in the Face
- My Child Is the Cutest Fucking Thing You’ve ever Seen and Don’t Even Try to Argue or I Will Stab YOU in the Face
- Dear Pedicurist: I Am Sorry I Kicked You in the Face
- I Think Maybe I Have some Issues with People and their Faces
- I Kind of Hate my Own Face
- I Clearly Have No Idea How To Capitalize Blog Post Titles
I would set up one of those vote-poll things here but I (1) am too lazy (B) have the technical expertise of a retarded wallaby and (iii) don’t wanna so just leave a comment down there – remember those?! comments are FUN! LEAVE ONE – and tell me what you want and after I have at least ten comments (which at this rate should take about seven months) I will tally the votes and write whatever the hell I feel like writing, anyway.
It’s just how I roll, y’all.
Good to be back. Love you guys. Thanks for hanging in there.
P.S. I don’t actually know what a wallaby is but I’m pretty sure it’s stupid. Stupider than me, anyway.
P.P.S. Okay, maybe not.
P.P.P.S. Pick the one about Mickey Mouse and you will see adorable pictures of my kid on vacation. And I KNOW you’ve missed him.
P.P.P.P.S. Pick the one about how cute my kid is and you will also see adorable pictures of my kid on vacation.
P.P.P.P.P.S. Pick any of the ones about someone getting stabbed in the face and you will STILL see adorable pictures of my kid on vacation.
P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Hell, who am I kidding? We all know I’m going to post adorable picture of my kid on vacation no matter WHAT you choose.
See? I can’t stop myself.Stumble it!