I’m Really Sorry But I Actually Have No Idea Why Your Ass Smells Like Cheetos

So someone found my blog today using the search term “why does my ass smell like cheetos” and it made me realize that it’s been a while since I reviewed my blog search terms.  I may have been on summer break, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been keeping tabs on the search terms people use to find my blog.  Over the summer I had some really juicy ones, and by “juicy” I mean sick, pervy, twisted, awesome, horrible, hilarious and all of the above.  Let’s explore, shall we?

(P.S. I honestly love each and every one of you.  Thanks for finding me, even if you WERE just looking for elephant porn.)

Category #1:  Now THAT’S fucked up

• dolphin skin wallet
• i need a letter to break up my sons marriage
• waterslide girl loses toe?
• nobody consulted me about this new baby thing
• seducing my own husband on facebook but he doesn’t know its me
• my parents HAVE dildos
• plucking baby unibrow not grow back
• i am a girl and i want a didlo for free but i dont want my perents to find it
• “thought i was the grandfather of my son”
• I love a guy with a ponytail

Category #2: EXACTLY

• bizaree things are fun to say
• albino repellent
• dont try stupid thing like murder some one
• my husband my bitch
• why is facebook shitty this morning?
• fathers day is a bull shit holyday
• I love baked cheetos
• don’t cram your beliefs down my throat
• friggin’ delightful
• nobody gives a shit
• small heads look better
• dan fogelberg was an asshole
• ryan seacrest disproportionate head
• dr. phil sanctimonious

Category #3: Stupid questions

• jesus should I leave on the 16th
• why provoke people
• why am i the brain in breakfast club?
• is it rude to scratch your balls
• Is it terrible to unfriend someone on Facebook
• does facebook accidentally unfriend people
• what does it mean when someone unfriends you on facebook
• why is it so insulting to be unfriended
• where do I put my keys when i come home
• what does it mean when a cat makes a sneezing noise but it isn’t sneezeing
• what happens when your baby is born on new years eve
• is the louder the sneeze the more germs
• when blowing a bubble from bubble gum does your boobs get small

Category #4: Excellent questions.

• why do we use forks
• how do you make a brainwashing helmet
• seriously, is muno a sex toy?
• why is my weiner dog so weird
• where is the very hot 69 sex
• what do I do about our neighbor outside in his underwear
• Is an accidental burp at the dinner table rude?
• is lemon tree song useful in anyway?
• How do I unfriend Nancy Grace on facebook?
• good zombie weapons disguised as something else
• where do all the forks go
• why isn’t my sunburn hot?
• why does my lemon tree have wrinkly lemons
• who’s the bean
• Why I hate a person I love?
• why would anyone ever wear assless chaps
• can u shoot a fork out of ur bum by farting?
• Where are Shamu Parents

Category #5: Seriously questionable fashion choices

• Oh, I’m in assless chaps
• pink assless cowboy chaps
• cutting jeans into chaps
• dildo hat
• little thug shirt
• penis on the sweater
• penis sweater
• im a guy trying to get a ponytail
• shiny plastic pants
• small head big butt outfit
• gigantic furries boobs
• squirrel chaps

Category #6:  We should talk

• i think i have no soul
• I put my boogers under my desk
• i’m a dildo in the morning
• FREAKISHLY SMALL HEAD
• I hate crockpot
• my husband wants my facebook password
• really terrible poetry
• things I’ve learned from porn
• people with unusually small heads
• stalking rules

Category #7: Best. Party. EVER.

• unibrow party theme
• lady toy party
• you me and a pair of assless chaps
• let’s get together and break shit
• who got naked on summer break
• zombie dildo
• bad porn sweater lady
• boobs seaworld

Category #8:  Sounds like somebody’s having a pretty bad day

• how do you get lollipops out of hair
• hate seeing ugly people on facebook
• sunburn on my ass
• i want a fucking fridge now
• home remedy for sunburnt butt
• I’ve just had my keys stolen,I left in the door when coming in
• accidental poop
• my husband has passwords for everything
• Shit I’m sunburned
• out of the blue my best friend unfriends me
• urine culture wasnt a good catch
• omg my husband is gay
• this helmet is pissig me off
• somebody called social services on me
• had to pretend I was gay because somebody gave him chaps
• devil repellent
• I hate the fact I was born to my family
• turned into wrong lane
• shit my husband ruined
• sunburned blotchy face now what
• husband shit his underwear
• co-worker rolls eyes at me
• “on the phone” and “had to pee” and “* my pants”

Category #9:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID

• and i don’t know why it’s been so hard

Category #10:  Huh. Wow. Really? Huh.

• wife wears dildo all day
• the cat wrote a letter to my son
• wearing a dildo for 10 hours
• boogers the size of corn flakes
• chicken nugget dildos
• museum of big vaginas
• Love to Breastfeed My Husband

Bonus Category:  (Spechless.)

• i made my boyfriend suck my fart
• can i lease a dildo for a day
• giantess use guy as dildo
• im only 11 but i want a dilldo
• ode to my baby’s asshole

Love,

Stumble it!