I Like Soup.

So the Big Bean and I have this ongoing argument about how awesome Facebook is.  I say it’s awesome times one zillion and he says it’s negative awesome.  He is totally wrong as usual and even though I say so all the time he doesn’t believe me, which is super lame and also dangerous because one day Facebook will take over the world and all the schmos thumbing their noses at it now will probably be executed.

I don’t know HOW they’d execute that many people at once but I think it might involve something like rounding them all up into a big pot and boiling them together to make a delicious soup.

Yeah. I’m pretty sure that’s what they’ll do.

Even if the Big Bean doesn’t make it into Facebook’s Delicious Hater Soup recipe, there’ll definitely be some kind of punishment for all the snide glances and heavy sighs.  At the very least, some kind of steep fine for each time he says “Shouldn’t you be WORKING?” or “I guess this is why the house is so dirty.”

I think the fine should be One Hundred Million Dollars, per transgression, payable to the offended party (a.k.a. ME), via cash, money order or YO ASS.

Probably he’s just jealous because HE doesn’t have 400 friends like ME.  I’m super popular on Facebook, you know.  It’s not like half of those are people I don’t actually KNOW, or local restaurants and salons and bloggers and weathermen and stuff.   It’s not like that at ALL.  I’m close, personal Facebook friends with local cable news anchor Todd Boatwright, for chrissakes. I don’t have to MEET him to know him.  You know?

Anyway, my point is that Facebook is awesome.  Also, the Big Bean’s stupid.  But mostly, Facebook is awesome.  If you don’t believe me, you’re stupid too – but check out my new post over at Funny Not Slutty and see for yourself.

XOXOXO

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Tags: cannibalism is the new black, I'm not stupid, Todd Boatwright is the shit, you're stupid