Cranky Old Scottish Man – Late 60s. Lifelong bachelor. Often wears ratty cardigan and glasses on tip of nose. Discusses retirement daily.
The Stickler – Early 60s. Short. White hair. Never met a rule she didn’t love. All co-workers expected to comply.
Creepy Pornstache Guy – Late 50s but the “Jew Fro” somehow makes him look younger. The only person in the office who can fix the 1970s-era Xerox copier.
The Barbaras – Three nondescript women of similar size, hairstyle and general demeanor. Easily confused for one another.
The Ph.D.ouche – Late 30s. Couldn’t hack it in Academia. Condescending. Complains bitterly if the “Ph.D.” distinction is left off of his name on any correspondence and/or documentation.
Lady Who Never Never Smiles, Regardless of the Circumstance – Late 30s. Mannish. Served several years in the military. Humorless.
Suspiciously Effeminate Family Man – Early 40s. Small. Very clean. Idolizes Sarah Palin and Jesus. Completely baffled by the frequency at which others assume he is gay.
Territorial IT Guy – Understands less about computers than anyone else in the building. Uncooperative. Dirty shirt.
Abnormally Small, White-Haired Dude – Late 50s. Quiet. Smirky. Often found in parking lot, smoking a pipe.
So-Smart-No-One-Understands-What-She’s-Saying Lady – Early 30s. Dangly earrings. Likes to use big words and talk a lot. Best avoided.Stumble it!