Bejewell on April 30th, 2011

Hi. If you’re here because you saw me speak today as part of Listen To Your Mother and now you’re looking for more cute, silly little poems with no cursing… um… well… yeah.

You’re pretty much fucked.

I DO write those on occasion — in fact, you can find one of the poems I read today here. And there are a few more here. And I’m also about halfway through a book of them so you should definitely keep an eye out for that at your local Barnes and Noble because god knows there’s a HUGE market for books of stupid poetry about shit like laundry and lotion and farts. I’m fully expecting those million-dollar offers from agents to start pouring in any minute now.

Yep.

Any minute now.

Aaaaaany minute.

(Tapping fingers on desk… whistling… waiting…)

Huh.

Anyway, what I was saying is that you won’t find a *lot* of silly poetry here, or even much of your typical “mommy blog” stuff. For the most part, this blog is just plain obnoxious. And potty-mouthed. And weird. And awkward. And horrible.

Just like me.

And that’s exactly how I like it.

Sorry if you were expecting something different. I hope you like it anyway, even if it’s not what you were expecting. And if you don’t like it, I won’t hold that against you. If we ever actually met in person, I’d probably think you sucked, too.

No, really. It’s very likely.

But either way, thanks for stopping by.

Love,

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14 Responses to “WORD to Yo Mutha”

  1. Well I think you rock, just saying…it keeps me coming back :)

  2. Who doesn’t laugh at farts?

  3. I come here for the poems on lotion and farts and co worker’s holiday sweaters.

    Also, because of your cute butt.

    How was the Austin show, mama???

  4. I like your blog because you say all sorts of stuff that I’m not brave enough to on my blOg. So keep on being wonderfully inappropriate on the behalf the rest of us.

  5. I cannot get over your language! OMG! You are probably a very cool person to have on the PTA! Love your blog!!!!

  6. Sorry to have missed your show. I tried to get the husband to drive up to Austin but he was all,” it’s too far” and “I hate the traffic”. Seriously, is it any wonder I drink? Anyway, I hope it went well.

    I love that your blog isn’t all gooey mommy blog shit and we’ve met in person. I hope you didn’t think I sucked but chances are you did because I tend to be obnoxious.

  7. I saw you in the show on Saturday and you were great.

    Fantastic blog, love that it’s random and not a total glorification of the joy of being a Mommy…because really, it blows sometimes and there is more to us than just Mom life, I think.

    Glad to have found you!

  8. I only read your blog because of this, “For the most part, this blog is just plain obnoxious. And potty-mouthed. And weird. And awkward. And horrible.”

    Someone has to be the potty mouth and tell it like it is – Keep up the good work!

  9. “No matter how old you get, farts are ALWAYS funny.” A quote from one of my favorite friends from this past weekend. And now it all makes sense to you why I love your blog and you, you obnoxious turd.

  10. Mmmmm. Obnoxious? Potty mouthed? Weird? Hadn’t really thought about it, but now you mention it….
    Not horrible though. Work harder on that one.

  11. Can’t wait to see the video!

  12. Apryl's Antics
    May 3rd, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    “Ode To A Towel” reminds me of a song I once wrote about a table leg, but yours was much more positive and complimentary. I knew there was a reason I liked you.

  13. I am new here and you are the first blog I have come across. I havent read more than a few posts and I Love You. Thank you for writing this way. I do to an extent… More family version. But the Truth- YES!

  14. Well, your post title is kinda like a littl poem. Really, you had me at Yo Mutha. Actually, I’ve been reading you for years, so you really had me with your overall general awesomeness!

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