Hi. If you’re here because you saw me speak today as part of Listen To Your Mother and now you’re looking for more cute, silly little poems with no cursing… um… well… yeah.
You’re pretty much fucked.
I DO write those on occasion — in fact, you can find one of the poems I read today here. And there are a few more here. And I’m also about halfway through a book of them so you should definitely keep an eye out for that at your local Barnes and Noble because god knows there’s a HUGE market for books of stupid poetry about shit like laundry and lotion and farts. I’m fully expecting those million-dollar offers from agents to start pouring in any minute now.
Any minute now.
(Tapping fingers on desk… whistling… waiting…)
Anyway, what I was saying is that you won’t find a *lot* of silly poetry here, or even much of your typical “mommy blog” stuff. For the most part, this blog is just plain obnoxious. And potty-mouthed. And weird. And awkward. And horrible.
Just like me.
And that’s exactly how I like it.
Sorry if you were expecting something different. I hope you like it anyway, even if it’s not what you were expecting. And if you don’t like it, I won’t hold that against you. If we ever actually met in person, I’d probably think you sucked, too.
No, really. It’s very likely.
But either way, thanks for stopping by.