So every now and then I remember that I have a blog and that realization is usually accompanied by this:
Followed by this:
Followed by this:
But after I wake up and watch a few more reruns of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I really start to panic because most of the time I have absolutely nothing to write about and BlogHer has some stupid rule that I have to post something every two weeks or they’ll stop running those enormous ads over there that no one ever clicks on, and then they’ll stop paying me the NO MONEY that they’ve been paying me for months. And I find this alternative unacceptable.
So I start “doing research” to come up with good blogging material and by “doing research” I mean “fucking around on the Internet and totally avoiding work, real life and blogging of any kind.” Which is awesome but also an unhealthy form of escapism that my therapist would call “Avoidant Personality Disorder,” if I actually HAD a therapist, which I don’t because I have Avoidant Personality Disorder and it’s right there in the name, y’all.
And that pretty much sums up my life lately.
So I think I’ll just put stuff here that I keep laughing at or bragging about or just generally thinking is awesome, and you can read it or view it or think it’s stupid or whatever and I can continue avoiding my issues of avoidance while not writing anything on my blog and continuing to rake in all that nada dinero that BlogHer keeps sending me.
Win-Win, right? Yeah. Here you go.
1. Funny cat video.
2. Adorable child video.
5. A guest post from me over at Gigi’s place, which I wrote a while ago but kept forgetting to post because of that whole avoidance thing but also because it includes a picture of me wearing a beef lover’s apron and does the world really need that? Really?
I hope you’re happy now, BlogHer. Now that I’ve posted something, I’ll be anxiously checking my PayPal account for that zero dollars and cents I’m sure to make from you this month.