So every now and then I remember that I have a blog and that realization is usually accompanied by this:
Followed by this:
Followed by this:
But after I wake up and watch a few more reruns of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I really start to panic because most of the time I have absolutely nothing to write about and BlogHer has some stupid rule that I have to post something every two weeks or they’ll stop running those enormous ads over there that no one ever clicks on, and then they’ll stop paying me the NO MONEY that they’ve been paying me for months. And I find this alternative unacceptable.
So I start “doing research” to come up with good blogging material and by “doing research” I mean “fucking around on the Internet and totally avoiding work, real life and blogging of any kind.” Which is awesome but also an unhealthy form of escapism that my therapist would call “Avoidant Personality Disorder,” if I actually HAD a therapist, which I don’t because I have Avoidant Personality Disorder and it’s right there in the name, y’all.
And that pretty much sums up my life lately.
So I think I’ll just put stuff here that I keep laughing at or bragging about or just generally thinking is awesome, and you can read it or view it or think it’s stupid or whatever and I can continue avoiding my issues of avoidance while not writing anything on my blog and continuing to rake in all that nada dinero that BlogHer keeps sending me.
Win-Win, right? Yeah. Here you go.
1. Funny cat video.
2. Adorable child video.
3. A vlog from someone who’s just a whole lot fucking better at this blog thing than I am.
5. A guest post from me over at Gigi’s place, which I wrote a while ago but kept forgetting to post because of that whole avoidance thing but also because it includes a picture of me wearing a beef lover’s apron and does the world really need that? Really?
I hope you’re happy now, BlogHer. Now that I’ve posted something, I’ll be anxiously checking my PayPal account for that zero dollars and cents I’m sure to make from you this month.
Love,
Stumble it!
Tags: It is ridiculous how little I actually care about this blog lately
June 14th, 2011 at 12:16 pm
I am in awe of your self photography skills. And your awesome red sofa.
June 14th, 2011 at 4:36 pm
I enjoyed the cat video very much. Your kid, eh. Could you get him some voice lessons or something? ;oP
June 14th, 2011 at 4:54 pm
I have that Avoidant issue, too. Is there a pill???
June 14th, 2011 at 5:41 pm
I I I, I want candy! What a sweetie, Beej.
I’ve been wanting to make a vlog for a very looooooong time, so apparently, I also have Avoidant issues.
P.S.
Mooooussse…
P.P.S.S.
What is up with the pittance BlogHer ad shit?
June 14th, 2011 at 10:20 pm
hahahaha, well I will keep coming back, you write funny shit…
June 15th, 2011 at 12:43 am
You are so cute! [speaking of BlogHer, are we still on?]
June 15th, 2011 at 2:00 pm
Picture #3 got me so off guard that you made me do surprise guffaw and a little bit of pee may have come out.
May.
June 15th, 2011 at 2:02 pm
Also, still laughing at the avoidant personality disorder meaning you avoid things. so, doh.
June 16th, 2011 at 3:49 pm
Get a therapist, worth every penny and the good news, they have to listen to you. It’s in the contract. My hero, my most avid fan (I pay her.), my therapist
June 17th, 2011 at 9:49 am
The cat is good. However, I doubt his fans are as interesting as some I know.
June 19th, 2011 at 12:31 pm
Ayup, me too, sister. I think I’ve been running the ads for a year and have yet to make the $25 threshold for a payment. GAH.
June 19th, 2011 at 2:51 pm
Oh, hey! This reminds me, I think I’ve got a blog, too! I think. Do I?
June 21st, 2011 at 10:31 am
Well, if nothing else, you helped me find the wonderfulness that is Jessica Bern. Thank you. Now wipe away that drool and get back to sleep.
June 27th, 2011 at 8:09 pm
I told blogher to go and suck it.
Cause I hadn’t had a paid ad in months.
Then it took them nearly a year to pay me out.
With a CHECK. That cost almost as much as it was worth to cash cause of your shitty dollar exchange rate.
Now I blog whenever I damn want.
Which is about as much as you, but without the STRESS!
HUZZAH!
June 28th, 2011 at 6:59 pm
I {sic} have a blog, too.
Wonder where it went?
Maybe I should actually write something…or all 4 of you who read me regularly will wonder what’s up?
Or not.
July 5th, 2011 at 5:25 pm
No Way?! I love Buffy!
July 11th, 2011 at 10:02 pm
ok – I’ve got to learn the thought bubble in the photo thing and while I’m at it I should probably write in my blog as well. But those lol cats are just to damn funny.