THINGS I IMAGINE MYSELF DOING WITH THE $100 BILL I JUST FOUND
1. Purchase a large collection of inappropriate, offensive t-shirts. Wear a different one each day to daycare pick-up.
2. Search iTunes for the word “douche” and download every item with that word in the title until money runs out.
3. Professionally photographed Facebook profile picture, wearing a ball gown, tiara and elaborate up-do, looking severe.
4. Prominent gold tooth.
5. Finally find out what happens in the Champagne Room.
6. Take a random homeless guy on a sunset river cruise.
7. $100 reward to the first person who can guess what’s in the box.
9. One-hour limo ride to any place that’s one hour away. Call mom to pick me up.
10. Start with a fifth of Jack and a carton of Marlboros, and see where the night takes me.
THINGS I WILL ACTUALLY DO WITH THE $100 BILL I JUST FOUND
1. Pay Sprint $100.
2. Still owe Sprint $84.Stumble it!