Each one of the terms below has been used to find my blog in recent weeks, through Google or another search engine. I have categorized them for your easy reference. You’re welcome.
Before you browse, though, let me just clarify: EACH OF THESE WAS, AT SOME POINT, TYPED INTO A SEARCH ENGINE BY A HUMAN (OR POSSIBLY ALIEN) ENTITY SEARCHING FOR STUFF. And they found my blog. In some cases, I was probably exactly what they were looking for… in others, I can only imagine their tremendous sense of disappointment when they realized this wasn’t actually a web site dedicated to boobs, dildo helmets, midget porn, flexitarianism, unibrow fetishes, gray squirrels or Jesus.
But I am grateful to them all for visiting, even if it was just for a moment. And I hope the ones searching for answers find them. (Particularly that one whose boobs apparently smell like old fruit. Good luck to you, friend.)
———–
Category 1: Welcome to My Life
- showing boobs to random strangers
- Jesus wants to screw me
- what do you wear to a sex toy party?
- “too lazy to pluck my unibrow”
- oh yoo hoo, has anyone seen my sanity?
- my dumbass wife loses her keys all the time
- about what my husband doesn’t know, the musical
- I’m funny….but only in my head.
- like to fuck with my husband on facebook
- nobody gives a shit
- bag of poop on fire
- valentine’s day is a bullshit holiday
- how do I get people to follow my shitty twitter account
- i hate the slowcooker
- i can’t stop buying shit
- blog about boogers and drugs and shit and stuff
- I do most of my thinking while other people are talkng
- i’m so confused
- im like jesus only sexier
- WHY ARE People fascinated by me
Category 2: Awesome Typos and Misspellerings
- grose vigina dieseses
- lemon tree very petty
- letters to my grandson for conformitation
- celebrity dutchbags
- happy walentine day
- goodbuy hug
- me in my underware
- geneticly engeneered giant cockroaches
- pictures of ponytales
- vaggazling
- cokkaroaches!!!
- some bith unfriended me
- coachroaches have fangs?
- what does whale viginas smell like?
- sweet litter to my son
- the musical fruitey blog
Category 3: The Wiener Obsession Continues
- WEINER POOP
- PICTURE OF A WIENER DOG BEATING UP A CAT
- weiner gum
- wieners for sale in venus
- big weiners
- WHY DOES WEINER DOG LOVE ME SO MUCH
- PICTURES OF STUPID LOOKING WEINER DOGS
- I hate weiner dogs theyre so mean
- weiner stuck in sleeve
Category 4: Who ever said romance is dead?
- ohmygodiloveher
- what is love? apparently I don’t know
- romance makes me angry
- how i fuck on my vacation trip
- is it safe to suck a penis
- unibrow fetish
- im gay because i love cock
- 1 800 dildo
- may I suck your Breasts
Category 5: My midget friend will be so happy to know he’s still relevant
- naked midgets
- how to get midget friends
- midget in a refrigerator
- where is some good midget porn
- midgets standing in giant panties
- i need a midget
Category 6: There’s some really weird shit happening out there with forks
- what are all these tiny forks for
- what it means when all the forks missing in your house
- where do my forks go? they just disappear
- Don’t use forks
- I only want to buy forks
- gnomes stealing forks
- fork porn
Category 7: People with real problems
- i’m in a musical and my bangs get sweaty
- i hate when people say tgif
- what ate my underwear bed bugs
- insicure about my unibrow
- nothing says evil like assless chaps
- Albuquerque hard to spell
- i kind of think I want a dildo
- my chiropractor makes me feel weird
- is makeup made of ground up cockroach wings
- my head is unusually small
- Why does my boobs smell like old fruit
- people make fun of my underwear
- that bitch Karen
- i love facebook yet i hate it
- you can’t always be the cats ass
- how do I buy my wife new boobs
- why did you buy a bag of shit
- can you rock the ponytail man
- how can i get 35 bucks
- how can i get my therapist to talk to me
- why wont a dildo go in
- “I don’t think I can hold it”
- accidentally gave boss porn
- My head is shaped like a weiner
- what is this in my underwear
category 8: Covering all the (totally random) bases
- flexitarian lesbian
- girl farts and sneezes
- twisty mustache and sunscreen
- purple sweater blowjob
- poem for kitchen towel of the month
- cannibalism is the new black
- shamu sucks boobies
- cowboys suck dolphins are awesome
- Feather-haired douchebags
- dildo helmet rock climbing
- Flexsexual
- shel silverstein was a very busy dude
- ryan seacrest has a small head
- billy ray cyrus huge mullet
- assholes and bubblegum
- sweating plastic pants for husband
- kitchen sink
Stumble it!
Tags: cokkaroaches!!!, good luck with your sweaty bangs, what is happening in the world?, You guys are all awesome
September 29th, 2011 at 10:13 am
Look. I know Karen, and she IS a little crabby. Bitch? I don’t know. Sometimes.
Well, yeah. She’s a bitch.
Also she has a unibrow, so I bet she was the one who searched for that.
And you didn’t hear this from me, but she’s a flexitarian and likes girls.
September 30th, 2011 at 12:45 am
i think you are somehow kin to DH Lawrence, whom i admire but hope it’s on your mother’s side.
October 7th, 2011 at 1:24 am
Karen is a bitch! God! And weiner poop? Like the poop of a weiner dog? Or the poop you take after eating hot dogs? So many questions!
October 13th, 2011 at 1:04 am
I bet that flexsexual bitch Karen has all the forks.
October 17th, 2011 at 10:24 pm
I wonder if Karen is the one whose head is shaped like a wiener.