Death By Laundry

Death By Laundry

It started as a little pile

A laundry pile of dirtied style

To wash it would just take a while

A very short, short while.

But my life was busy, so

I let it grow, even though

I needed clean and folded clothes

I really let it go.

The family just kept adding more

The hamper spilled out on the floor

Still I refused to do my chore

That useless, boring chore.

And so, the pile became a mound

60 pounds, five feet around

At least four feet, from top to ground

A real impressive mound.

And THEN it grew into a hill

A silly hill, like Jack and Jill

It grew into a silly hill

A silly, scary hill.

The hill became a mountain then

Tall as Big Ben, and without end

Tall as a stack of a thousand men

Remarkably tall men.

It grew so tall, it blocked the sun

And without sun, life was no fun

It must have weighed at least a ton

At least a goddamned ton.

Not one clean thing, not anywhere

Our drawers were spare, our closets bare

Not a single pair of underwear!

Not one clean thing to wear.

I fell into the pile one day

Was it foul play? I couldn’t say

But I was trapped, to my dismay

Like a needle in some hay.

No help, my husband shook his head

“Tough luck,” he said, as I begged and pled

He packed and le

Death By Laundry

It started as a little pile

A laundry pile of dirtied style

To wash it would just take a while

A very short, short while.

But my life was busy, so

I let it grow, even though

I needed clean and folded clothes

I really let it go.

The family just kept adding more

The hamper spilled out on the floor

Still I refused to do my chore

That useless, boring chore.

And so, the pile became a mound

60 pounds, five feet around

At least four feet, from top to ground

A real impressive mound.

And THEN it grew into a hill

A silly hill, like Jack and Jill

It grew into a silly hill

A silly, scary hill.

The hill became a mountain then

Tall as Big Ben, and without end

Tall as a stack of a thousand men

Remarkably tall men.

It grew so tall, it blocked the sun

And without sun, life was no fun

It must have weighed at least a ton

At least a goddamned ton.

Not one clean thing, not anywhere

Our drawers were spare, our closets bare

Not a single pair of underwear!

Not one clean thing to wear.

I fell into the pile one day

Was it foul play? I couldn’t say

But I was trapped, to my dismay

Like a needle in some hay.

No help, my husband shook his head

“Tough luck,” he said, as I begged and pled

He packed and left the house instead

He left me there for dead.

I began to suffocate

A slow heart rate left me sedate

I thought I could see heaven’s gate

I knew death was my fate.

Finally, I felt contrite

“If I’d known, I really might

Have separated darks from white,”

I thought, with sad hindsight

I made one last stab to survive

I kicked and cried, and wished, closed-eyed

That all those clothes were washed and dried…

And then I fucking died.

ft the house instead

He left me there for dead.

I began to suffocate

A slow heart rate left me sedate

I thought I could see heaven’s gate

I knew death was my fate.

Finally, I felt contrite

“If I’d known, I really might

Have separated darks from white,”

I thought, with sad hindsight

I made one last stab to survive

I kicked and cried, and wished, closed-eyed

That all those clothes were washed and dried…

And then I fucking died.