1. Very carefully.
2. Through those glasses with the tiny holes in them that you wear when there’s an eclipse.
3. On TiVO.
4. Like a boss.
4. Via proxy server, so it’s anonymous. (Sometimes I leave a tacky comment, too.)
5.Like rain, on my wedding day.
6. Like a free ride, when I’m already there.
7. Like some good advice that I just didn’t take.
Now fuck off and stop leaving shit on my door.