Curling gel

Curling mousse

Curling spray

Curling irons

Any product that says “Guaranteed to make your straight hair curly!”

Hot rollers

Twisty rollers

Diffusers

Diffusers with gel

Diffusers with mousse

Diffusers with root lifter

Diffusers with thickening cream

Leave-in curling conditioner

Hot water

Cold water

Salt water

Bobby pins

That stupid sock idea

Any instructions on the Internet

Anything recommended by a Youtube video

These fucking ridiculous things

Begging

Pleading

Cursing

Cursing your parents

Cursing your husband

Cursing your friends with curly hair

Furious scrunching

Braiding

Sleeping in braids

Trying to sleep in even tighter, painful braids

Birthday wishes

Screaming

Crying

More cursing

Witchcraft

Bargaining with God

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4 Responses to “Things that Do NOT Make Naturally Straight Hair into Cute and Curly Hair”

  1. Just in case you were wondering, girls with naturally extremely curly hair will make EXACTLY the parallel list of Things That Will Make Curly Hair Straight. And, bizarrely, they actually want to straighten it.

  2. I have naturally curly hair & I do most of that stuff to keep it from being frizzy. Just so you know, it doesn’t help that either. sigh.

  3. Your father actually has curly hair, but it is very difficult to find it. So don’t blame me.

  4. Same applies to: Things that will never make curly hair straight:

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