Shut the Fuck Up About Twilight

Shut the Fuck Up About Twilight

He’s sexy and any teen girl’s true desire.
So what if he’s an old, dead vampire?
It didn’t stop Bella from lighting his fire…

But still.
Shut the fuck up about Twilight.

I get it — this story’s the stuff made of dreams.
Panties cream, from old moms to young teens.
But these books have been out fifty years, so it seems…

It’s time.
Shut the fuck up about Twilight.

The truth is, you just wish that you could be Bella
Young and dumb, with a rich, gorgeous fella
And eternal love bond, like you’re under a spell, but
You’re not.
Shut the fuck up about Twilight.

Yes, Edward gets you all hot, bothered and weepy
But he’s pasty and broody and way too grim reap-y
And a soccer mom pining for him is just creepy
Come on.
Shut the fuck up about Twilight.

The last movie’s coming, and I hope that’s the end

Of the vampire-loves-dumbass-chick trend

Let’s start loving books that don’t suck balls, my friend.

Let’s all

Shut the fuck up about Twilight.

He’s sexy and any teen girl’s true desire.
So what if he’s an old, dead vampire?
It didn’t stop Bella from lighting his fire…
But still.
Shut the fuck up about Twilight.

I get it — this story’s the stuff made of dreams.
Panties cream, from old moms to young teens.
But these books have been out fifty years, so it seems…
It’s time.
Shut the fuck up about Twilight.

The truth is, you just wish that you could be Bella
Young and dumb, with a rich, gorgeous fella
And eternal love bond, like you’re under a spell, but
You’re not.
Shut the fuck up about Twilight.

Yes, Edward gets you all hot, bothered and weepy
But he’s pasty and broody and way too grim reap-y
And a soccer mom pining for him is just creepy
Come on.
Shut the fuck up about Twilight.

The last movie’s coming, and I hope that’s the end
Of the vampire-loves-dumbass-chick trend
Let’s start loving books that don’t suck balls, my friend.
Let’s all
Shut the fuck up about Twilight.