Bejewell on November 3rd, 2012

ME: Are you ready for some amazing news?

BIG BEAN: Oh, lord.

ME: No, really. This is fucking AMAZING.

BIG BEAN: Here we go.

ME: Wells Fargo has this new thing where you can take a PICTURE of a CHECK and send it in to deposit it!! You don’t even have to go to the bank or anything!! Isn’t that incredible? I mean, who knew?

BIG BEAN: Um, I knew, and everyone else knew, and all the other banks knew like two years ago.

ME: Huh?

BIG BEAN: I hate to tell you this, but other banks have been offering that service for years.

ME: No, they haven’t. If they had, I would have heard about it.

BIG BEAN: How would you have heard about it?

ME: On the news.

BIG BEAN: You don’t watch the news.

ME: Well, I read the Internet, and it would have been on the Internet.

BIG BEAN: You read the Internet?

ME: Well not the whole Internet, obviously. But I read some of the Internet. The part with the news.

BIG BEAN: You read the part of the Internet with the news?

ME: Yes.

BIG BEAN: So what did today’s news say?

ME: Today is Saturday.

BIG BEAN: Yes, it is.

ME: I don’t read the Internet on Saturdays. I take Saturdays off.

BIG BEAN: Okay then, what was yesterday’s news?

ME: Well, yesterday they decided to cancel the New York City Marathon and everyone was really happy about that. And Joss Whedon made a funny video about how Mitt Romney will lead the country to a Zombie Apocalypse. There were some SUPER cute Halloween costumes this year, New York & Company is having a big sale on tops and a lot of people are really thankful for stuff this month.

BIG BEAN: You got all that from Facebook, didn’t you.

ME: Does it really matter?

BIG BEAN: Just make your deposit.

(end scene)

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2 Responses to “It’s Still an Amazing Advance in Technology”

  1. I always figure, if it’s important enough it’ll get referred to on FB. Then I’ll go look it up so I know what they’re talking about…

  2. Seriously? You’re like my favorite person ever!

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