Bejewell on February 23rd, 2014

There’s this little book I wrote called Something Smells Like Pee
It’s filled with witty poems and a sketch or two or three

Now it’s published and for sale and what I’d like to see
Are great reviews and many, many checks of royalty

I’m out here hawking it to all my friends and family
But so far all my sales reports show they’re ignoring me

I’ve decided screw ‘em all, I’m going public now
I like strangers more than those old fuckers, anyhow

So if you’re feeling daring and you think you’d like to try it,
Use this link to get to it — just takes one click to buy it

Once you read it, I would love to hear just what you think
(Unless you hated it, in which case your opinion stinks.)

That’s my pitch, I know it leaves a bit to be desired
But after all this work, I’ll tell ya, I am fucking TIRED.

Rest assured, I’ll be tracking all the sales and crap
At least, I will when I arise from my twelve-year nap…

So I’ll now say thank you, and bid you all good night
Would one of you, on your way out, please switch off the light?
Sleep tight.

And happy reading, y’all.

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One Response to “The Terrible Sales Pitch Poem”

  1. Never really thought of myself as an old fucker before, and i did buy your hilarious, wonderful, success in the wings book and encouraged everyone to buy it. But it id producing some fun stuff on your blog.

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