Once upon a time there lived a Fucking Awesome princess named Bejewell. Bejewell lived in a mysterious but lovely land called the Land O’Blogs, where she was forced to sleep in a dungeon and slave away on brilliant blog posts while her two wicked stepsisters, Kristine from Mommy Needs Therapy and McMommy from The McMommy Chronicles, had a grand time hosting Hot Blogger Calendar parties and dining on delicious feasts in the beautiful castle above.
One week, both McMommy and Kristine decided to go on holiday with their handsome princes, leaving Princess Bejewell alone in her dungeon to write their posts for them. Bejewell was sad she could not go on a vacation, too, but because she was SO sweet and kind, she wrote the guest posts just as her two wicked stepsisters had insisted.
But while she was hard at work, Bejewell’s furry woodland friends came in through the dungeon window and told her she should try something new. They told her this was her chance to escape from the dungeon and take over the kingdom. All she had to do was something… magical.
And that’s when Bejewell got a little bit brave. She decided to take a detour from the usual guest post and write something different - something that just might SHOCK THE SHIT out of her wicked stepsisters’ regular readers. In fact, it might make them all want to force her to Walk the Plank of Mixed Metaphors. But one thing was sure – it would definitely get their attention.
Bejewell looked at her blog stats and knew she had nothing to lose. So she wrote a post for Mommy Needs Therapy in which she examined the benefits of life as a Zombie and a post for The McMommy Chronicles in which she accused McMommy of being an evil alien-human hybrid bred for perfection and sent to Earth to destroy us all.
(Don’t deny it, McMommy. You know it’s true.)
Basically, Bejewell went completely apeshit and wrote two of the most bizarre guest posts ever.
Was it a risk? Of course it was. But Princess Bejewell was willing to do whatever it took to improve her blog stats and increase her readership. So she took that chance.
What happened next? Well, that is up to you, dear readers, to decide.
Either Bejewell succeeded with her brilliant plan, increasing blog stats all over the Land O’Blogs, making everyone cheer and leave wonderful comments and drink fairy tale toasts to her AND her wicked stepsisters, OR midnight rolled around and she turned back into an ugly pumpkin. Or something like that.
The End… Almost.Stumble it!
Tags: guest posts