Bejewell on August 26th, 2008

Once upon a time there lived a Fucking Awesome princess named Bejewell.  Bejewell lived in a mysterious but lovely land called the Land O’Blogs, where she was forced to sleep in a dungeon and slave away on brilliant blog posts while her two wicked stepsisters, Kristine from Mommy Needs Therapy and McMommy from The McMommy Chronicles, had a grand time hosting Hot Blogger Calendar parties and dining on delicious feasts in the beautiful castle above.

(Sometimes they would get especially drunk on ale and try to rip her clothes off, too.)

One week, both McMommy and Kristine decided to go on holiday with their handsome princes, leaving Princess Bejewell alone in her dungeon to write their posts for them.  Bejewell was sad she could not go on a vacation, too, but because she was SO sweet and kind, she wrote the guest posts just as her two wicked stepsisters had insisted.

But while she was hard at work, Bejewell’s furry woodland friends came in through the dungeon window and told her she should try something new.  They told her this was her chance to escape from the dungeon and take over the kingdom. All she had to do was something… magical.

And that’s when Bejewell got a little bit brave.  She decided to take a detour from the usual guest post and write something different - something that just might SHOCK THE SHIT out of her wicked stepsisters’ regular readers. In fact, it might make them all want to force her to Walk the Plank of Mixed Metaphors. But one thing was sure – it would definitely get their attention.

Bejewell looked at her blog stats and knew she had nothing to lose.  So she wrote a post for Mommy Needs Therapy in which she examined the benefits of life as a Zombie and a post for The McMommy Chronicles in which she accused McMommy of being an evil alien-human hybrid bred for perfection and sent to Earth to destroy us all

(Don’t deny it, McMommy.  You know it’s true.)

Basically, Bejewell went completely apeshit and wrote two of the most bizarre guest posts ever.

Was it a risk?  Of course it was.  But Princess Bejewell was willing to do whatever it took to improve her blog stats and increase her readership.  So she took that chance.

What happened next?  Well, that is up to you, dear readers, to decide.

Either Bejewell succeeded with her brilliant plan, increasing blog stats all over the Land O’Blogs, making everyone cheer and leave wonderful comments and drink fairy tale toasts to her AND her wicked stepsisters, OR midnight rolled around and she turned back into an ugly pumpkin.  Or something like that.

The End… Almost.

Click over to Mommy Needs Therapy and The McMommy Chronicles to help write the real end to the story.

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16 Responses to “A Tale of Two Guest Posts”

  1. Ah, check it out. A “bean” in the rough. Excellent McMommy post . . .

    LaskiGals last blog post..You Can’t Beat Me

  2. Because I *heart* you anr your freaky-ness I will go on over!

    KD @ A Bit Squirrellys last blog post..In Case You Weren’t Convinced I Am A Total Freak

  3. Can’t wait to read them both, my brilliant blog Princess friend.

    P.S. If I’m friends with a blog Princess, does that make me a blog Lady in Waiting?

    MommyTimes last blog post..In which I link obsessively to YOU by Crocs hoping Someone Important will notice…

  4. Guest posting is fucking hard – you’re awesome [and probably insane] for being able to do two at once! I’m off to check them out.

    Marias last blog post..Dance, Dance [IV]

  5. Oh, Zombejewell, you’ve done it again. TWICE. Are you sure you’re not one of those superior alien beings? Cuz if you’re not, then I must be lower on the brain mush totem pole than I ever imagined.

    WaltzInExiles last blog post..Febrile

  6. Damn. I so meant to include some reference to TBC in response to your whole “I’m a princess” theme.

    WaltzInExiles last blog post..Febrile

  7. HA! I frequently tell McMommy that I feel like her loser sister that tags after her, saying, “Let me play Let me play” At least you get to be a cool Cinderalla-esque martyr (I’m showing my catholic, hold on-up, sorry about that).

    You are hilarious and I shall puffy heart you forever.

    alexs last blog post..Random Streams of Thoughtciousness

  8. Hilarious. I had to click over to you from McMommy! Now, I’m going to have to come back and see your ballroom dance.

    Krystyns last blog post..They’re "all gone"

  9. Great guest posts!! I love your humor. In fact I kinda peed my pants…

    Andreas last blog post..Jack in the hospital again!

  10. Guest posting is tough, but oh my gosh, you rocked them both! Excellent and extremely funny. If you want, I’ll take a vacation anytime, and I’ll just leave the front door unlocked, if you want to come over and blog about anything at any time!

    foradifferentkindofgirl (FADKOG)s last blog post..shall we play a game?

  11. So, can you be hired to do guest posts for the rest of us now?

    threeundertwos last blog post..How Many Moms Does It Take. . .

  12. Ahh.. you’re funny! Found ya from your evil step sis, McMommy.

    american mums last blog post..Get Your Click On: Shutter Speeds

  13. Dayum.

    And just how am I supposed to follow THAT?? I’m freakin stressing about my guest post over at McMommy’s later this week. Have I written it yet?

    Hell to the no.

    BookMammas last blog post..These Crocodiles Rock

  14. OMFG! You are hilarious. Thanks for making me look like a jackass with my big ol grin on my face while looking at a computer screen.

  15. Not only did you make me laugh on MY OWN BLOG, but you got me my highest number of visitors ever!

    There is nothing left for me to do on my own blog…I can never beat that post, ever.

    Thanks for showing me up!

    Kristines last blog post..From my guest blogger – Not the only mommy needing therapy!

  16. p.s. I lurve you with big pink puffy hearts.

    Kristines last blog post..From my guest blogger – Not the only mommy needing therapy!

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