Ponytail
Ponytail
You are missing from this head
Just to the back-and-top of the scalp
Hovers a cold, empty space
Where you should be
Only air now
Where you once flowed
Because SOMEONE made an
Unfortunate
Choice
SOMEONE decided that the
Hair on her Head was
TOO Abundant
TOO Long-Lush-Luxurious
TOO Beautiful
SOMEONE sat in the Hairdresser’s Chair and said,
Out loud,
“TAKE IT ALL OFF”
And the Hairdresser
(having no Chutzpah of her own),
TOOK IT ALL OFF
Leaving SOMEONE with nothing but a
Short
Bob
And an
Empty
Space
And now SOMEONE wants her
Ponytail
Back on her
Head
Where it
Belongs
It’s too late for I’M SORRY
It’s too late for I TAKE IT BACK
It’s too late for PLEASE, GOD, PLEASE
Now SOMEONE is left standing
Alone,
Weeping,
With an empty space
Above-and-Behind her Head
All that SOMEONE has Left is
Mom
Hair
and
no
Ponytail.
Stumble it!
Tags: missing chunks of hair
September 15th, 2008 at 11:10 am
Ha ha, mom hair! A couple years ago I had a very unfortunate butchering of my hair. That night I didn’t sleep a wink, but spent the night formulating a plan in which I would call in to work sick, then run off to get some emergency extensions at a salon. By morning I decided I’d just live with the haircut, even though it made me look like a weird boy. That was a character-testing period indeed.
Sras last blog post..The Two Life Philosophies of Brother D
September 15th, 2008 at 11:31 am
What, no photograph to be mocked? What kind of post is this??
Give it a while, maybe it’ll grow on you. Hahahaha. Whoo. God that was bad, but you know what I mean. Maybe you’ll start to like it, and if not, it WILL grow back. I bet you look awesome regardless.
all things BDs last blog post..High and Dry
September 15th, 2008 at 11:57 am
Thanks for the warning/reminder. My hair appt. is Thursday. I love me my weekend ponytail!
Trenches of Mommyhoods last blog post..Happy Blogiversary To Me…
September 15th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
i got mom hair a month ago… i had the same reaction… i’m over it…
marlas last blog post..From Tiger to Wolf…
September 15th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Aww…we need picture proof. I bet it isn’t that bad….and it will grow back!
September 15th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Where’s the picture? I bet you look great!
September 15th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
I could have written this myself.
Excuse my while I go cry.
Brittanys last blog post..My thoughts on Sarah Palin
September 15th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Yeah I’m with the rest of the mom-heads. I’m sportin’ super-soccer-mom hair right now. Ten inches gone…14 months to grow it all back.
*weeping*
Audss last blog post..Overheard
September 15th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Oh, I am SO sorry. I have had short hair in the past and vowed to always, always keep my ponytail length. I also vowed to never again have bangs but that’s a different story.
It’ll grow!
stephers last blog post..Dog & Cat Halloween Costumes
September 15th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
Oh, I’ve been there! I have had my hair cut so short people called me “Sir.” I feel your remorse. I’ve felt the anguish, the ‘phantom ponytail’ sensation. Here’s my wishes for a speedy hair recovery!
foradifferentkindofgirl (FADKOG)s last blog post..my kids’ mom has got it goin’ on. apparently.
September 15th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
I’m sure it looks adorable. I myself am a fan of the bob – and it SO doesn’t have to look like mom hair. At a certain point long hair can start to look frumpy – at least on me. So I’ve finaly said goodbye to my long hair days. I figure that I couldn’t be the Breck girl forever.
Kates last blog post..People DO that?
September 15th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Go check my last post…DITTO.
Carolina Girls last blog post..I just love a little searcy now and then…
September 15th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
i really can’t quite understand
why women worry about their hair
i know part is because i’m just a man
and one must have hair to care.
Grandma must go to the beauty shop
every Thursday or the world will end;
Wife dwells half a day with dye and crop
while i wonder how much she’ll spend.
Wear your hair the way you wish
Don’t worry when you go to bed;
i’m sure any way it will look delish;
While i have none upon my head.
September 15th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
I’m envisioning Dieter from SNL’s Sprockets reading this as a b&w Calvin Klein-esque Obsession montage of before and after hair shots plays to very sad music. Genius. Could be worse though. Think: Sinead. Think: Britney.
WPoFDs last blog post..Holy 6th Grade Flashback
September 15th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Thanks for the warning before lunch tomorrow. Now I know I should be looking for Sinead O’Connor.
Zellmers last blog post..Mad Men Monday
September 15th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Ratballs! Paris Hilton seems to be hawking a sick line of hair extensions…pretty sure that’s what Brit-Brit is rockin’ these days.
OK, let’s focus: Think Big Earrings. Sassy hats. Jaunty scarves. Boob job. You see where I’m going with this?
BTW Blogrolling you STAT. Any friend of Mcmommy and Brittany is a friend of mine. Also – you said something at your old site about following you on Twitter – what’s your twitter address?
Happy Hour Sues last blog post..EVEN MORE Words I Made Up
September 15th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Perfect ode to a ponytail!
I know exactly how you feel…that first time you wash your hair and wonder where is the rest of your hair? You put your fingers through your hair and your fingers go through way too fast. It’s just not right.
The good news is that IT GROWS BACK!
Anastasias last blog post..First Day In My Home Office
September 15th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
I’d bet good hard money that you look fantastic…those drastic changes always take some getting used to.
Anissa@Hope4Peytons last blog post..One day, a thousand feelings
September 15th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
What’s all this crap about mom hair. I’ve been wearing the “Pob” pre-Victoria Beckham and pre-mom status. I think your hair looks lovely…
The Benevolent Dictators last blog post..Some Kind of Weird Empathy
September 15th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
OMG I should NOT have just read this, as I’m about to get about 10″ chopped off tomorrow. EEEEKKKK! Okay. Deep breath. I’m sure yours is not really mom hair. And if it is, but I turn out to like mine, why don’t you come visit and see my stylist. Oh, lordy, pray for me that mine doesn’t turn into mom hair too. Please.
September 16th, 2008 at 12:26 am
Aw, I’m sorry. Maybe you’ll get used to it and love it! If not, it will definitely grow back!
September 16th, 2008 at 12:46 am
Ugh, I hate that feeling. Naked, out of my comfort zone.
We totally need to see pictures.
dysfunctional moms last blog post..Spa Day & Pics
September 16th, 2008 at 7:17 am
Girl I have a positive for you. Not long hair in your arse crack. Don’t pretend you don’t know what I mean…
September 16th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Oh quit yer cryin’. Think of all the shampoo you’ll save.
WaltzInExiles last blog post..Exposed
September 16th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
What is it about having a baby that makes us go and get all our hair cut off? Did that too and it took a year to get it back to shoulder length. Best thing to do to NOT have “mom hair” — color it something crazy!
–MomZombie, (whose hair is way too long and should be cut)
MomZombies last blog post..The scent of a stay-at-home woman
September 16th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
OH NO!
I’m sure it’s lovely.
When are you posting pictures??
maggie, dammits last blog post..up for air
September 16th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
You know, a ponytail can be mom hair. And a short ‘do can be cool hair.
But if your mom hair can be feathered…well, all is lost. Until it grows back.
mothergoosemouses last blog post..WWJD? Well, I’ll tell you.
September 17th, 2008 at 9:57 am
I chopped my hair off last summer to above shoulder length for the first time since I was three. Yes. It’s still short, but I think I’ve got to go long again. I just don’t want to be “that lady,” you know? The one that looks like she’s trying reeeaaalllly hard to stay 24? But I love having long hair. I’m so torn!
Alias Mothers last blog post..Fall ennui
September 17th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
I did exactly the same thing about two months ago, and wrote a similarly regretful entry.
Thankfully now, I can see progress in the growth. It’s good stuff.
Razs last blog post..Everything’s Changing
September 17th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
I’ll trade you! I wanted a short bob and instead got bossed around and came out with a medium-length cut. And she went totally razor crazy so now I have to strengthen my wavy hair daily just so it will look half decent. AND I paid 100 dollars for this.
Trade! Please!
Elisas last blog post..Dangerous squeals
September 17th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
God Speed, my friend.
Christinas last blog post..Gold rush and sticks