Bejewell on July 6th, 2008
Of course, they’re really ALL awesome (or suck, depending on your perspective) (my perspective says awesome), but here are some of my favorites:
- The Artist’s Early Work: A Portfolio — A portfolio of my brilliant child’s random artwork, with my objective, insightful critique.
- Midgets, Incest and Pony Play: Just Another Run-of-the-Mill Blog Post Here at the Bean — The title says it all.
- But I Really Do Wish Nick the Best — The story of Nick’s going-away party, which I attended. Did I mention that I don’t know Nick?
- How I Accidentally Fired Myself — The story of a mean, evil witch and a beautiful, innocent, hardworking princess.
- Less Sex Talk, More Wrinkle Remedies — An in-depth analysis of how I went from being the Cosmo girl to the Redbook lady.
- I’ve Been Awesome Since At Least the Tenth Grade and Here’s the Proof — My mother reacted EXACTLY how I thought she would.
- Probably the Most Patriotic Post You Will Ever Read — The “segue” picture at the end STILL makes me laugh.
- A Weiner Dog’s Life. In Pictures — A pictorial, documenting the difficult life of Napoleon the Weiner Dog.
- It’s Just Amazing I Haven’t Been Snatched Up As Someone’s Life Coach Already — It’s never too late — services are still available upon request.
- Jesus Wants Steve Jobs Dead Just As Much As You Do, Sprint. Let’s All Work Together. — Sprint actually read this post and responded. Still waiting on Jesus, though.
- The Post With Lots of “Buts” and One Unusually Tiny Head — Hint: It’s mine.
- Switzerlandish People Don’t Use Forks. Tell Your Friends. — The Switzerlandish are such assholes.
- Our Anniversary, By the Numbers — One of my very favorites.
- Lollipop In My Hair — A poem. About a lollipop. In my hair.
- I Stabbed a Guy Whose Eyebrows Are Like Haystacks but He Didn’t Die and That Pisses Me Off — True story. Not really.
- The Mall — Despite all the smack I talk, I really do love my family.
- Hello, Jack. Meet Shit. — I absolutely LOVED this post, but hardly anyone read it or left comments. This makes me sad.
- The Goodbye Hug I Can’t Take Back — My angst-ridden quest to make friends, foiled by my tendency to self-sabotage.
- It’s Just a Blog — Proof that I am a desperate, jealous, clingy bitch.
- The Rogue Bicyclist Attack — The cautionary tale of two women, their kids, and their random brush with death.
- Mother’s Day Edition: People with 17 Kids Freak Me Out — No, seriously. These people FREAK MY SHIT OUT. (This was one of the first posts I ever wrote and to this day it is my mom’s favorite)